Reykjavík Grapevine - 11.01.2008, Síða 8

Reykjavík Grapevine - 11.01.2008, Síða 8
08 | Reykjavík Grapevine | Issue 01 2008 | Opinion One) Re-designing 101 Reykjavík is dumb: Tearing down old houses on Laugarvegur, some of which have great historical significance, others that have gained status as bona fide cultural institutions in latter years, to make way for a downtown shop- ping mall is dumb. And shortsighted. Not only is it dumb for the very obvious rea- son that some of the places earmarked for destruc- tion by city planners have become veritable tourist attractions and landmarks in their own right, con- tributing greatly to the “vibrant downtown atmo- sphere and music life” that many Grapevine read- ers cite as their main reason for visiting Iceland in the first place. They are tearing down Grand Rokk. And Sirkús. Not that I am the biggest fan of either of those establishments (actually, I’ve probably spent more time unsuccessfully trying to gain entry to Sirkús than actually inside of it, and Grand Rokk’s drunken patrons frighten me). But still. Sirkús often employed bouncers for the sole reason of keeping the frightened-by-the-price-of-alcohol-but-still-keen- to-observe-and-thus-take-up-space tourists out. More often than not, those bouncers were veteran frightened-by-the-price-of-beer tourists that had settled and pushed through the glass ceiling. It is also dumb because we already have at least two fully functioning enormo-malls in the greater Reykjavík area, that are well befitted for serving all average mall goers shopping needs. And it is dumb because 101 Reykjavík’s at- traction now lies mainly in its coffeehouses, bars, galleries and concert venues – its nightlife. Laugav- egur abandoned its post as Reykjavík’s shopping street sometime in the mid-eighties, when they opened Kringlan. And that is fine. And it is dumb because one of the main arguments for tearing down those historical land- marks is how ugly they’ve grown in the past decade. Am I just being silly, or wouldn’t it be a good idea, say, if I were a real estate developer, to let a build- ing I owned grot down and slum-ify if I desperately wanted to level it so I could build a high-price mega-mall on the lot? And it is dumb because Laugavegur seems to be working fine as is. Two) Don’t listen to anything those evil fucks on the Internet try and tell you: Back in the utopian times of 2003, people who had opinions that they wished to share with their fellow citizens actually had to bother expressing them on paper, purchasing stamps and sending them off to a newspaper, where they would be approved of (or not), proofread and typeset. It is likely that anyone who bothers going through with this whole proce- dure will have also bothered to actually form their opinion in a thoughtful manner, and formulating it to an understandable degree, too. Of course, all opinions are valid as such. But not all statements are opinions, and that is impor- tant to remember. The advent of one-click publish- ing has, for the most part, killed off any inkling of belief in democracy and public discourse I once held. There are countless examples of this from the Icelandic blogosphere of 2007. The case of the disappearing re-appearing dog, Lúkas, for one. Every discussion on feminism made on-line in the Icelandic language. Also every discussion on religion. And music. And pretty much anything weightier than Britney Spears exiting a car with her gaping vagina on display (the internet is an excel- lent place for that). So, if anyone from the internet reads this, please pay attention: YOUR THOUGHTS AS THEY APPEAR IN YOUR MIND AT A GIVEN MOMENT AREN’T NECCESSARILY OPINIONS; MOST LIKELY, THEY ARE REACTIONS. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO ARRANGE THOSE REACTIONS IN ORDER, AND TO VERIFY THEM AGAINST A LIST OF FACTS THAT ARE EVIDENTLY TRUE (cogito ergo sum). Please. Three) Banning smoking in bars was a really shitty idea: I’ve generally clung to the opinion that anyone who chooses to spend their spare time drinking in bars isn’t really concerned about their personal welfare. Furthermore, not being libertarian or any- thing, I’ve still managed to believe that if there was a market for non-smoking bars and cafés, someone would see fit to open these, and those drinkers that were sick of having to take showers and burn their clothes once they got home from a night out at a smoky bar would see fit to attend those. And they would flourish and prosper, just like all those pre-smoking ban polls showed. How does this not make sense? Since it apparently doesn’t, I would now like to call for a ban on drinking in bars and cafés. The smell of alcohol and stale beer is generally unpleasant. Drunk people really annoy me when I am trying to have sober fun at a bar; they are loud, rude and rowdy. Many of them harbour the absurd pastime of beating random strangers to a pulp. And, sometimes, people die from those beatings. In conclusion, I would like to be able to go out to the bar without being exposed to drunken people. We could make an example out of the forthcoming downtown shopping mall’s bar. Four) At the core, all cities are essentially larg- er versions of my hometown, Ísafjörður: 2007 saw me visit Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Brussels, Cologne, Paris, New York, London, Oslo, Copenha- gen, Manchester, Cannes and Austin, Texas, among others. They are all the same, really (although some of them have awfully modernised, ghost-town like city centres while others feature thriving, culturally significant, historical ones). Oh, some of them will have more video stores than others, and of course climates will differ, but at the core, they are all di- vided into the same neighbourhoods, and their in- habitants foster the same hopes, dreams and fears. Not to say that Western culture is growing increas- ingly homogenous (which I am sure it is), rather that people all over are generally good, helpful and hopeful. Especially those without blogs. And that was a nice discovery. I had never seen anything like it in my life. There was so much smoke everywhere it was hard to breathe and my eyes were watery. My hair was a little burnt from ash that had fallen on it and lights were bursting and flashing everywhere I looked. It may sound like I was in the middle of some chaotic disorder and I was. New Year’s Eve in Reykjavík was upon me and the pyrotechnics war had started. I walked like a drunk, zigzagging and swerving in attempts to avoid children aiming firecrackers straight at me, straight at everybody. I am used to fireworks being at the hands of the city council and not at the will of the population. Seeing all those tykes and champagne-wielding adults firing off made me nervous, although I have to say it was nice to see that everybody got to par- ticipate in lighting up the midnight sky and that it wasn’t just an officially organised affair. The type of New Year’s celebration I am used to has quite a pathetic showing of fireworks that is aimed at tourists rather than locals. I come from a small, immensely beautiful island in the Caribbean: Puerto Rico. Our tradition there is to spend the hours up until midnight with the fam- ily, so people tend to be inside when the clock strikes twelve. The explosives display (I can’t even remember the last time I saw it) is conducted from Old San Juan: a relic of the past with faded blue cobblestones and Spanish architecture adorned with bold colours. However, very few Puerto Ri- cans will be walking around the old city to enjoy the few sparks visible in the sky. It is mainly a dis- play to satisfy the sun burnt, Hawaiian-shirt-wear- ing tourists. Sadly for the people back home, it is illegal for individuals to buy or use fireworks, so people miss out on all the fun that Icelanders are entitled to. To make matters worse, with sparklers prohib- ited, an odd tradition has developed since some intellectually challenged individuals decided that firing bullets into the sky would be a great replace- ment for firecrackers, ignoring Newton’s law of gravity that what goes up must eventually come down. This year, the government had to spend money running campaigns titled: “Not one more bullet into the air!” in order to curtail this crazy twenty-first-century ritual. The morning after my first Icelandic New Year’s Eve, I inspect my coat for burns and won- der how the hell nobody gets injured in all this mayhem. Then I think of last New Year’s Eve and I am reminded that I prefer a four-year-old with a firecracker to bullets flying across the sky. I come to the conclusion that people just want to feel in control of their lives and the actions they take. People on my island want to experience the start of the New Year literally and figuratively in their own hands. When simple freedoms such as this are constrained, people revolt and find other ways to express themselves. There was a comparable situation in Reykja- vik before 1999 when bars were required to close at three in the morning. Partygoers were forced to leave the bars amidst their merriment. However, the bartender’s last call did not stop people from spilling onto the streets where rowdy crowds of thousands would gather to continue their party- ing. This became too bothersome a burden for the police to handle and the drinking laws were relaxed allowing for later closing times. Similarly, before 1989 the beer prohibition did not prevent people from getting intoxicated. Instead Iceland- ers drank Bjórliki, a non-alcoholic beer named from the Icelandic word bjór meaning beer and liki meaning imitation, laced with large shots of whiskey or vodka. If the government decides to behave like an overzealous parent and tell its citi- zens not to behave in a certain way that endangers no one, the independent and proud child will do exactly what they are told not to do, or worse. As a matter of principle people should be responsible for themselves and behave the way they wish as long as it does not interfere with the safety of oth- ers. The extravagant 360-degree fireworks dis- play I experienced here and the whimsical smiles of those taking part in the grand spectacle in- spired me. Now that I know what to expect, I will be prepared for next year with my own arsenal of fireworks so that I can contribute to the carnival atmosphere instead of just being a spectator. So if you happen to find yourself annoyed at the fire- works damage suffered by your newly acquired vintage dress, simply laugh about it and remem- ber that at least you have the freedom to enjoy 2008 behaving as wildly or primly as you please. Four Random Conclusions for 2007 Freedom in Pyrotechnics Alexandra Hertell is professional musician from Puerto Rico. She now resides in Reykjavík. Haukur Magnússon is a contributing writer for the Reykjavík Grapevine. He lives with eight cats.

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