Reykjavík Grapevine - 15.08.2008, Blaðsíða 14

14 | REYKJAVÍK GRAPEVINE | ISSUE 12—2008
ARTICLE BY JAMeS cRugnALe — pHoTo BY gAS
It was a surreal experience for tourists, some of
whom espoused incredulity with actually getting
a sunburn in Iceland! Local citizens fought the
weather with mass dips in the city’s pools as well
as hitting up the geothermal beach. That same
day, 42 km northeast of Reykjavík, Þingvellir
was a blazing 29.7°C, the highest temperature
ever recorded on a standard automatic station in
Iceland.
According to Trausti Jónsson, Meteorologist
at the Icelandic Meteorological Office, the record
heat was caused by a perfect storm in conditions
of which included warm air coming in from
Europe, clear skies and the summer seasonal
environment.
With polar bears drifting to Iceland in
recent weeks from broken ice shelves and other
bizarre melting phenomena, some have pondered
whether climate change is just
beginning to rear its head in Ice-
land.
Jónsson said that you cannot
attribute a single meteorological
event to global warming but noted
there was a growing warming
pattern; however, he couldn’t
say for certain that there was a
connection for at least a few
decades.
“The average temperature
is usually 18° or 19° so 20° is very
unusual. In the last century, we
had temperatures reach 20°C,
[approximately] eight out of
twenty years; in this century, it’ll
be 12 out of 20,” said Jónsson.
“There is a lot of natural variability
so it’s impossible to connect an
individual heat wave with climate change and the
record wasn’t broken by a wide margin. Before I
would say there is a connection, we would have to
wait 40 years and evaluate the data then.”
Questions over individual hot days notwith-
standing, other factors are
pointing to a warmer climate
for the country. In particular,
the increased waterflow from
melting glaciers has been doing
gangbusters for hydroelectric
power company profits, like
Landsvirkjun, who has seen a
significant increase in water
producing more energy than ever
before.
Climatic signs like that have
worried Iceland’s Ministry for
the Environment enough that
included in their Climate Change
Long Term Visioning plan are
adaptation strategies anticipating
the danger of rising sea levels.
While Jónsson is anticipating
more moderate temperatures for
the next few weeks, with the climate acting so
erratically in Iceland, it might be wise to keep a
bottle of sunblock handy.
wArninG: the wAter's still pretty cold.
Welcome to the Tropical Island of Iceland
On a steamy summer day in July, Iceland breaks the hottest temperatures on record
ARTICLE BY STevIe wARD
Elves are hard to find, but a few years ago elves
found Hallgerður Hallgrímsdóttir. These encoun-
ters led to some of the most wonderful sexual
experiences of her life. Keen to share her expe-
riences, her book ‘Please yoursELF-Sex with the
Icelandic Invisibles’ has made her the leading au-
thority on the mystic art of elf sex – the Grapevine
investigates.
Surveys have shown that ten percent of Ice-
landers believe in the existence of “huldufólk”
(the hidden people), dwarfs, spirits and other
supernatural beings. Ten percent deny it, but the
remaining eighty still refuse to rule out their exis-
tence.
Natives to Iceland, elves are very limber,
light and strong which makes them excellent sex-
ual partners. Unlike humans, elves have the abil-
ity to open up other worlds of sexual encounters.
Although Hallgerður does not think they possess
supernatural powers, she is sure that having sex
with one is magical. “They can do stuff you would
never imagine, and also have the imagination to
think of things you never would,” Hallgerdur di-
vulges. Grapevine finds this surprising, consider-
ing that elves are generally small and skinny in
physical stature. But, as the saying goes, size does
not matter and according to Hallgerður, half the
magic lies in the way they use their tongues. Also,
it seems the myths of elves ‘eating people’ may
have been slightly misconstrued, as it is far less
physically harmful and much dirtier then Hans
Grimm ever divulged.
Although she has been sexually cavorting
in this world for years, Hallgerður is not monoga-
mous with these elves, and has never been in a
serious relationship with one. She also cannot
fully detail how long these encounters last; bed-
ded in soft moss with a supernatural being by her
side (or some other position entirely) seems to
blur the time space continuum. Grapevine asked
if filming these encounters would be allowed (for
journalistic purposes, of course), but unfortunate-
ly it seems elves are very excited about ‘electrical
devices’ and are prone to steal them or use them
(we did not ask on what).
To those who wish to try and catch them-
selves an elfish encounter, be warned – elves are
shy so Hallgerður’s book recommends secluded
places. They would love to have more people
wandering around the Icelandic countryside and
for those unsure about dabbling in the world of el-
ven pleasure, other benefits include no-strings-at-
tached, stress-free sexual encounters and no one
seeing you performing the walk of shame through
the forest in the morning.
‘Please yoursELF-Sex with the Icelandic In-
visibles’ by Hallgerður Hallgrímsdóttir is available
from www.anobii.com.
Please Yourself
with an Elf
WEATHER fORECAST
According to a new
report issued by
Iceland’s scientific
committee on climate
change, due to warmer
temperatures in the
future, the country over
the next few decades
can expect to see:
– wheat and pumpkins
– southern demersal fish
–volcanic activity in the
Vatnajökull glacier
– rising water levels
– 80 new species of layer
birds
Debunking elf-sex myths
Following an unusually squelching
heat wave, temperatures topped
out a blistering 26.2°C in Reykjavík
on July 30th, breaking the all-time
hottest record for the capital city.