Reykjavík Grapevine - 07.06.2013, Blaðsíða 4

Waiting for your urgent response.
With due respect to your person
and much sincerity of purpose I make
this contact with you as I believe that
you can be of great assistance to me.
My name is Mr.Mike Ouedrago, from
Ouagadougou Republic of BURKINA
FASO, West Africa.
Presently i work in the Bank as telex
manager. I have been searching for your
contact since you left our country some
years ago .I do not know whether this is
your correct email address or not because
I only used your name initials to search
for your contact in the internet .In case
you are not the person I am supposed to
contact , please see this as a confidential
message and do not reveal it to another
person but if you are not the intended re-
ceiver, do let me know whether you can
be of assistance regarding my proposal
below because it is top secret.
I am about to retire from active Bank
service to start a new life but I am scep-
tical to reveal this particular secret to a
stranger. You must assure me that every-
thing will be handled confidentially be-
cause we are not going to suffer again in
life.
It has been 10 years now that most of
the greedy African Politicians used our
bank to launder money overseas through
the help of their Political advisers. Most
of the funds which they transferred out
of the shores of Africa was gold and oil
money that was supposed to have been
used to develop the continent
Their Political advisers always in-
flated the amounts before transfer to
foreign accounts so I also used the op-
portunity to divert part of the funds
hence I am aware that there is no offi-
cial trace of how much was transferred
as all the accounts used for such trans-
fers were being closed after transfer.
I acted as the Bank Officer to most
of the politicians and when I discov-
ered that they were using me to suc-
ceed in their greedy act, I also cleaned
some of their banking records from the
Bank files and no one cared to ask me
because the money was too much for
them to control. They laundered over
$300,000,000,00(Three hundred mil-
lion) united states Dollars during the
process .As I am sending this message
to you, I was able to divert more than
Ten million five hundred thousand Dol-
lars ($10.5m) to an escrow account be-
longing to no one in the bank. The bank
is anxious now to know who is the ben-
eficiary to the funds because they have
made a lot of profits with the funds.
It is more than Eight years now and
most of the politicians are no longer us-
ing our bank to transfer funds overseas.
The Ten Million five Hundred Thousand
Dollars ($10.5m) has been laying waste
but I don't want to retire from the bank
without transferring the funds to a for-
eign account to enable me share the pro-
ceeds with the receiver. The money will
be shared 60% for me and 40% for you.
There is no one coming to ask you about
the funds because I secured everything. I
only want you to assist me by providing
a bank account where the funds can be
transferred. You are not to face any diffi-
culties or legal implications as I am going
to handle the transfer personally. If you
are capable of receiving the funds, do let
me know immediately to enable me give
you a detailed information on what to do.
For me, I have not stolen the money
from anyone because the other people
that took the whole money did not face
any problems. This is my chance also to
grab my own but you must keep the de-
tails of the funds secret to avoid leakages
as no one in the bank knows about the
funds.
Please supply me the following:
Your current contact address and Tele-
phone Numbers..
I shall intimate you on what to do
when I get your confirmation and accep-
tance.
If you are capable of being my trusted
associate, do declare your consent to me.
Waiting for your urgent response.
TO my email address
Yours Faithfully,
Mr.Mike Ouedrago
--
Grapevine Issue 4, July 25, 2003:
Dear Friend,
I, on behalf of my colleagues from
different Federal Government of Nige-
ria owned parastatals decided to solicit
your assistance as regards transfer of
US$41,500,000.00 into your bank ac-
count.
These funds emanated from un-
claimed contractual proceeds of for-
eign contracting firms who could not
meet their financial obligations to their
creditors.
We, as holders of sensitive positions
in our various parastatals, were mandated
by the Federal Government to scrutinise
all payments made to certain foreign con-
tractors and we discovered that some of
the contractors have not been paid their
contractual entitlement which collec-
tively left the sum of US$46,500,000.00
lying in a suspended Account.
However, from our investigations, we
discovered that the foreign beneficiary
companies have since been liquidated,
and to all intents and purposes no longer
exist in Nigeria, thus providing us with
this opportunity, provided that we have a
capable partner, to execute a transaction
of this nature.
We agreed that the said amount would
be transferred into an overseas Bank Ac-
count to be provided by a reliable foreign
associate. This is because as serving
Government workers the Civil Service
Code does not allow us to operate for-
eign Account. We require a partner that
is capable of rendering assistance and
cooperation in executing this matter. We
therefore offer the amount of 20% of the
entire sum in return for services/assis-
tance rendered in successfully carrying
out this project. We trust that you appre-
ciate the sensitive nature of this matter
and the need for initial caution on our
part.
Please treat with the strictest confi-
dentiality and expediency
Yours faithfully,
Dr.Sam Obi
Dear sirs,
Let us tell you both again what we
told you on this matter TEN YEARS
AGO:
We refer all international money
launderers/drug traffickers/arms
smugglers to our advertising depart-
ment. We accept cash, opiates and/
or weapons grade plutonium as pay-
ment.
Love,
The Reykjavík Grapevine
PS. Thanks for your loyal readership,
Dr.Sam Obi and Mr.Mike Ouedrago,
if those are your real names!!!
Say your piece, voice your opinion, send
your letters to: letters@grapevine.is
Sour grapes & stuff
STILL NOT FOOLING US!
MOST AWESOME LETTER
FREE ICELANDIC GOURMET FEAST!
There's prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS. And it’s a scorcher! No, really! It's a
goddamn scorcher is what it is! Whoever sends us THE MOST AWESOME LETTER this issue
will receive A FRIGGIN GOURMET FEAST FOR TWO at TAPAS BARINN.Did you hear that?
Write in and complain about something (in an admirable way), win a gourmet feast at one of
Reykjavík's finest? THIS IS THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY IS WHAT IT IS! What's in a 'lobster
feast'? Well, one has to assume that it has lobster-a-plenty. Is there more? Probably, but
still... Gourmet feast? Wow! DON’T PANIC if your letter wasn’t picked AWESOME LETTER.
There's always next month!
Now, if you're in the market for free goodies next month, write us some sort of letter.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
The Hamburger Factory Reykjavík
Höfðatorg Tower. Groundfloor.
Opening hours:
Sun.-Wed. 11.00 – 22.00
Thu.-Sat. 11.00 – 24.00
Reservations:
Tel: 575 7575
fabrikkan@fabrikkan.is
www.fabrikkan.is
BE SQUARE
AND BE THERE
Gullfoss and Geysir are surely a must-see in Iceland,
but neither is something you eat. That's why we have
15 brilliant and creative hamburgers at
the Hamburger Factory.
Located on the groundfloor of the highest tower
of Reykjavík, and on the groundfloor of the historic
Hotel Kea in Akureyri, the Hamburger Factory has
been packed with burger-craving customers since it's
opening in april 2010. Among the regulars is Iceland's
best known fisherman, Eric Clapton.
Attention: Our hamburger buns are not round.
They are square. Does it taste better? You tell us.
HOW TO GET THERE
SOME TIPS ON HOW TO GET TO US WHILE LOOKING COOL AND LOCAL
From that point on you are in good hands.
Be there or be square!
“Íslenska Hamborgarafabrikkan, takk”
(„The Icelandic Hamburger Factory, please“)
This is what you say to the taxi driver
or when asking locals for directions:
“Sælar! Hvað er að frétta”
(Hello! What‘s up)
When you arrive you tell the waiter:
“Ég er þokkalega svangur,
get ég fengið hamborgara”
(I‘m quite hungry, can I get a hamburger)
The Hamburger Factory Akureyri
Kea Hotel. Groundfloor.
The Hamburger Factory
has two restaurants in Iceland.
4The Reykjavík Grapevine