Reykjavík Grapevine


Reykjavík Grapevine - 03.02.2017, Blaðsíða 16

Reykjavík Grapevine - 03.02.2017, Blaðsíða 16
Recently, The Sunday Times reported that US President and short-fingered shouting enthusiast Donald Trump might be planning a Reykjavík sum- mit with Russian Prez and topless out- doorsman Vladimir Putin. It is has since come to light that the report is possibly a piece of this “fake news” we hear so much about—or that it was a leaked idea that Trump immediately retracted. Nonetheless, the two world leaders will have to meet at some point, and they may well follow in the footsteps of Reagan and Gorbachev by selecting our mid-Atlantic island as the location. As the Grapevine has diligently reported on Trump's imaginative campaign finance strategies and the worried response he elicits amongst Icelanders, we felt ourselves duty- bound to put our heads together and provide an itinerary of interesting places to visit for these two intrepid and savvy politicians. Here it is: Grapevine’s dream Ice- landic getaway for Trump and Putin. Diamond Suites Luxury Hotel Located close to Keflavík Airport, this accommodation is ideal for any- one who doesn't want to mix with the hoi-polloi. Besides, it seems to be to their taste. With suites named after precious gems and interior design that has all the subtlety and sophistication of a gold-plated bidet, we can think of no better place for someone known for redefining what classy means. Hljóðaklettar These gorgeous caves, located just a few kilometres east of Húsavík, are the perfect destination for anyone who loves the sound of their own voice. Here, you can proclaim, bellow, and otherwise hold forth, and the only thing you will hear talking back at you is yourself. There’ll be no upstart CNN reporters ruining your press conference with questions, no snarky response tweets, and, in fact, no criti- cism of any kind. Hljóðaklettar is a literal echo chamber. What better place to get away and speak your mind with nobody around to contradict you? Whale hunting trip Húsavík is also famous for its whales. And while there is actually no such thing as a whale hunting tour in Ice- land, Trump and Putin are known for getting what they want, when they want it. A whale hunting tour would be an ex- clusive jaunt for them. They could take turns manning the harpoon gun, re-en- act the "I'm the king of the world!" mo- ment from 'Titanic', or pose next to their trophy for a photo op. As it's unlikely ei- ther of these two are all that bothered by trifling concerns such as environ- mentalism or animal cruelty, they could also enjoy this bonding moment with a clean conscience. Reynisfjara Now, down to the picturesque southern coast. Reynisfjara is a dangerous beach (no really, stay away from the famously perilous riptides). But such trifling con- cerns as staying alive are for us mortals. For big strong manly man-men like Trump and Putin, the deadly beach of Reynisfjara is merely another backdrop for the two to showcase their demon- strative masculinity. Whether frolick- ing in the huge, potentially fatal waves, bounding through the surf together, or taking turns punching the riptide warning sign, this is an ideal spot for some sweet presidential holiday snaps. Bromantic chopper ride to Katla After such a whirlwind of activity, this would make the perfect end to a per- fect vacation. Trump and Putin could be whisked away by helicopter to the summit of this active volcano, where they could relax on the caldera, do a lit- tle climate change denying, and laugh in the face of the possible obliteration of humanity, all whilst sipping the finest champagne and doing Reyka Vodka slammers chilled by genuine glacier ice. After this relaxing series of excursions, this same helicopter would then drop them off at Taco Bell in Hafnarfjörður for a bite to eat be- fore they jet back to their respective superpower countries. So there you have it. If any of Trump's or Putin's staff are reading this, you're welcome. Consider it a public service. Words PAUL FONTAINE Share: GPV.IS/HIC2 Photo NORDURFLUG.IS Photo DIAMOND SUITES / MICHAEL VADON This photo is a composite - subjects were unavailable for shoot This is an actual photo. Crazy, right? Photo SKARI / GAGE SKIDMORE We imagine that debonaire Trump would mostly "oversee" the hunting "ANALYSIS" Trump & Putin's Dream Getaway In Iceland ASK A… Historian Q: “Why are there so many swimming pools in Iceland?” A: “If I remember this correctly, the decision to build pools was made in the interwar period, to teach Icelanders to swim. Being able to swim is very important in a country heavily reliant on fishing. It was a matter of safety, as during that time drowning was common among fishermen— most of them didn’t know how to swim. I think that, to this day, there’s still a greater emphasis on teaching school children to swim in Iceland than in other countries, for example, in Scandinavia. “The main advocate for this was MP Jónas Jónsson [then head of the Progressive Party] from Hrifla, the farm he grew up on. Jónas was interested in utilis- ing the abundant geothermal resources in Iceland, and also in founding schools around the country. The schools were built with their proximity to hot wa- ter sources in mind, thus mak- ing the teaching of swimming possible. After that, swimming pools became popular—where there was a school, there’d also be a swimming pool. “So that was more or less how it started, I think. But it might also be added that a nice byprod- uct of building swimming pools was the culture of discussing current affairs in the hot tubs. Swimming pools have therefore served the same purpose as bars and cafés do in other countries; as socialising institutions.“ So there we have it: A early 20th century politician thought Icelanders should know how to swim. And it turned out we had all these geothermal springs ly- ing around. That’s why. ◂ ◂ ◂ ◆ ▸ ▸ ▸ We asked Ragnheiður Kristjánsdóttir, Associate Pro- fessor of History at The Uni- versity of Iceland. If you have a question regarding Iceland that you would like answered, email us at ask@grapevine.is and we will find the most suitable ex- pert in the field in Iceland to resolve your conundrum.
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