Reykjavík Grapevine - 05.05.2017, Side 8

Whether you’ve been in the country
for ten minutes or ten years, you’ve
probably noticed that Icelanders
have a peculiar notion of “parking.”
With no qualms about pulling up on
the sidewalk, in front of a driveway,
or in as many as four parking spaces
at one time, Icelandic drivers might
have you wondering just how much
tickets are here—with such careless-
ness, they can’t be that much, right?
This automotive audacity is the inspi-
ration behind Facebook group “Verst
lagði bílinn.” The title translates to
“The Worst Parked Car” and that’s ex-
actly what this page is for: a place where
users can submit pictures of badly
parked cars. While Reykjavík definite-
ly has the worst offenders, the group
spotlights submissions from Akureyri
to Ísafjörður, proving that shitty park-
ing is a nationwide epidemic. Since the
group started in 2014, posts have in-
creased exponentially in quantity (and
quality), so this problem is clearly not
alleviating itself. What will it take to
change car consciousness here? A note
from the elves? The UN? Björk?
The major rule of the group is that
you can’t post driver pictures: “Verst
lagði bílinn” is definitely public sham-
ing, but it’s not like someone will throw
a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep if
you park on the sidewalk in front of IKEA.
But to be honest, perhaps if they did
people would think twice before block-
ing the door of Bónus with their Skoda.
A personal favorite of the author is
when people park in the lined area be-
tween handicapped spaces. It’s the per-
fect mix of “I don’t give a fuck” and “but
I’m not an asshole.” I also like when
cars park horizontally in vertical park-
ing bays. Are they self-absorbed, blind,
or just plain stupid? You decide.
That said, in my personal experi-
ence, Icelanders really just don’t give a
shit about parking. Too many times to
count, I’ve had friends park in handi-
capped spaces, flippantly remarking,
“Oh, I’ll only be inside for an hour!” An
hour? Really?
Share this article:
gpv.is/groups
Words
Hannah Jane
Cohen
DIGITAL LIFE
kulda-
skræfa
AROUND ICELAND IN
80 FACEBOOK GROUPS:
Worst
Parked Car
WORD OF
THE ISSUE
The word of the issue this issue is kul-
daskræfa. This literally means “cold
coward,” and is used to refer to people
who get cold easily or hate being cold.
It’s a word that has no English equiva-
lent, and also says a lot about the cul-
ture. Iceland has a temperate climate,
as you may know, so it’s not as if dis-
liking the cold should be some uncom-
mon character trait in this country. Yet
anecdotally, Icelanders will more often
than not express great sensitivity to
heat but near imperviousness to cold.
Express any sort of dislike for being
cold and you will invite ridicule upon
yourself, as people ask you why you
moved to a country called ICEland in
the first place. Kuldaskræfa reflects a
lot of the rugged individualist aspects
of Icelandic culture, and that’s why
it’s this issue’s word of the issue. PF
8 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 07 — 2017
Readers
Write
Hi Grapevine,
I’m a Pastor’s wife from the Mid-
West (that’s in America if you don’t
know!) We just got back from Ice-
land—wow, what a fabulous and
beautiful country! :D
While driving through the coun-
tryside on the Ring Road, I couldn’t
help but wonder: What do people in
these small towns do for fun? Most
didn’t seem to have much—not
even a movie theatre, church, or
mall!
God bless you,
Tammy from Wausau, Wisconsin
Hey Tammy,
You’re 100% right! Most towns in
Iceland don’t have a mall, which
is probably the #1 reason behind
Iceland being the #1 consumer
of antidepressants worldwide.
Malls equal happiness, as every-
one knows, and the lack of Bath
& Body Works and Starbucks here
causes a lot of existential angst.
It’s also true that most Ice-
landic towns don’t have movie
theaters, but fortunately it is
the 21st century and an internet
connection guarantees access
to everything from ‘Game of
Thrones’ to porn. You’ll find that
Icelandic country folk are just as
hip as you, and perhaps—con-
sidering your use of the :D smi-
ley—even more so.
For real though, small town
Icelanders do many of the same
things all country people do:
drag racing, hunting, fishing,
drinking, playing football, hav-
ing children etc. We’re happy you
enjoyed Iceland and wish you the
best at whatever mall or church
you like to inhabit.
Óðinn awaits you,
The Grapevine
Write to us:
letters@grapevine.is
The elusive NR1DAD is the king of bad parkers in Iceland, local legend of vehicular douchery
LÓABRATORIUM
WHERE WAS IT SHOT?
Dierks Bentley, "Black"
Words: Valur Grettisson
So, even American country musicians
have discovered our little sub-Arctic
island, although relatively few Iceland-
ers have discovered American coun-
try music. We have no idea who Dierks
Bentley is, but he shot a dramatic mu-
sic video in Sólheimasandar and Reyn-
isfjara, and we were blown away by his
weird, kitsch art. For Icelanders, the
name Dierks Bentley is eerily close to
Jerks, and, of course, the Bentley car
brand. But most of Icelanders have
never heard this name before—we’re
not even sure this video isn’t some
kind of a meta-joke, like Ali G or Borat.
The song’s title is “Black.” The use
of Iceland’s beaches is probably a state-
ment to underline this dramatic title.
In the beginning, Dierks sings in front
of the wreckage of the famous crashed
DC-3 airplane on Sólheimasandur—a
popular destination for tourists, de-
spite the fact that the farmer who own
the land hates the attention, and is al-
ways trying to block the route.
Anyway, the plane wreckage is prob-
ably a more fitting metaphor for this
hilarious video.
Dierks ends up, of course, with a hot
lady, who flounces casually through
the emptiness of Iceland in a light
gown (a life-threatening situation,
by the way). The couple end up in a
steamy sex scene, and we’re still no-
where close to understanding the title
of the song. Not that we were really lis-
tening, by now.
Typical Icelandic country
boys, having a good time.