Reykjavík Grapevine - 14.07.2017, Qupperneq 8

In other parts of the world, lonely
people flock to Craigslist. A quick
scan of the New York City personals
board sees posts begging for sex, ad-
vertising “sensual massages,” and
offering $50 to rub your feet. $50!
Unfortunately though, Craigslist never
really took hold in Iceland. Perhaps it
was a result of bad marketing, or maybe
there’s some saga villain named Craig.
We don’t know. That said, a number of Fa-
cebook groups have sprung up to fulfill
certain basic needs. While there are—
obviously—more NSFW groups, we’re
choosing to focus on the most delight-
fully innocent one: Kúrufélaga grúbban.
“Kúrufélaga grúbban” translates
to “Cuddle Buddy Group.” The group
has around 8,500 cuddly members,
which is almost 3% of Iceland’s popu-
lation. Yes, 3%. While the original
idea of Kúrufélaga grúbban was, I
suppose, to find someone to cud-
dle with, nowadays it is half personal
ads for chatting/friendship/romance
and half memes, videos, and polls re-
volving around sex and relationships.
For instance, right now the top
post is a meme showing lovable car-
toon aardvark Arthur engaged in dog-
gystyle with his elementary school
classmate Francine the orangutan.
As you can imagine, it is disturbing.
Above and below the Rule 34 coitus is
the caption: “Post a picture of yourself
and underneath people will comment
whether they would smash or pass
on you. If you like the comment that
means you would allow them to smash
you.” At the moment there are 161 com-
ments with a plethora of selfies, both
real and fake, looking for smash or pass
approval. Happily, 99% of the pictures
got a number of “Smash!” comments,
which should make you feel hopeful
for your own romantic prospects. As
they say, “There is a lid for every pot.”
While we at the Grapevine desper-
ately tried to get an intern to post on the
group looking for a cuddle buddy, no one
volunteered. Two of them said they were
“in a relationship” while the other one
said she “doesn’t like to cuddle.” That’s
right—but who doesn’t like to cuddle? If
that was a real thing, why would 3% of
Iceland’s population be in a cuddle bud-
dy group? Yes, it’s fishy, so if you have
any thoughts on this matter, please
e-mail us at grapevine@grapevine.is Share this article:
gpv.is/groups
Words:
Hannah Jane
Cohen
Farfugla
heimili
AROUND ICELAND IN
80 FACEBOOK GROUPS
Kúrufélaga
grúbban
As they say, “There is a lid for every pot.”
WORD OF
THE ISSUE
Iceland may be on everyone’s bucket list,
but did you know that it’s also a firm fa-
vourite with migratory birds? Each year,
thousands of species stop off en route to
sunnier climes. Enter “farfuglaheimi,”
directly translated as “home of migrato-
ry birds.” In Iceland, the word has a more
poetic meaning, describing the country’s
youth hostels. The word is as likely old as
the hosteling movement, which began in
Germany more than 100 years ago. You’ll
be hard-pressed to find our feathered
friends in your typical Icelandic hostel,
though—instead you’ll be greeted by a
mix of ethnicities and cultures, as ex-
pertly captured by this unlikely meta-
phor. AD
8 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 12 — 2017
READER'S LETTER
Hey,
I am Greek. I love Icelandic nature and I
have a lot of friends in Iceland. My boy-
friend is Icelandic. My message is in re-
lation to your recent post on Facebook,
regarding a tourist defecating seam-
lessly by a busy motorway. In view of the
lack of evidence whether it is a native
or a tourist, I am personally offended
by this post. It constitutes an undue
assumption that a tourist is the culprit.
Your posts have recently been also very
offensive focusing on all the bad things
that tourists bring to your country.
I am requesting you to rephrase your
post, before I feel compelled to take
further action.
Regards,
Athanasios
Yo Athanasios,
Fair point. You sound like a reasonable
gentleman so we're going to level with
you—in the name of science! Icelanders
have been living on this rock for thou-
sands of years. They were here before
the modern toilet, so there’ve been
shittier times. I have a butt. We all have
butts and when you gotta go, you gotta
go. You’re right, there’s no concrete evi-
dence in this example that the pooper
is a tourist. There is evidence however
that more people are visiting the country
than ever before, and that crap crime
has increased exponentially. Correlation
does not imply causation (#science) but
until this hypothesis is disproved, we’re
going to follow through.
We’re sorry you're offended and would
like to point out that we do love tourists*,
The Reykjavík Grapevine
*that use toilets
Write to us via Facebook, or email us at
letters@grapevine.is
Cuddle the pain away
LÓABRATORIUM
Let’s take a break from second-rate
films to explore the world of music
videos. This time it’s king of indie-folk
Bon Iver.
Where better for the haunting
melody of the critically acclaimed
'Holocene'than Iceland's dramatic South
Coast? Released in 2011, the song takes
its name from the geographical era
during which glaciers began to retreat,
some 12,000 years ago. For Justin Ver-
non of Bon Iver, the name has alterna-
tive meaning, as he sought inspiration
from darker times. The video represents
life's insignificance, dramatically con-
trasted by Iceland’s limitless backdrop.
In signature knits, a young Icelandic boy
explores the surroundings near Vík on
the south coast. Childish curiosity leads
him to black sand beaches, lava fields
and plush moss fields.
'Strayed above the highway aisle,
jagged valance thick with ice and I
could see for miles, miles miles.' The
lyrics are designed to resonate with
those who have questioned meaning
and their place on the earth. In hom-
age to the majesty of the landscape, the
video previewed on the National Geo-
graphic Channel and has since clocked
32 million views on Youtube.
At the video’s climax, innocence
prevails as the child skims stones at
Jökulsárlón, before tumbling down a
hill. Exploration takes its toll. Lying
down on the beach, black sand dusts
his face as he sleeps. "At once I knew, I
was not magnificent.” Deep.
Tourists,
tourists,
tourists.
Sick of this crap
WHERE WAS IT SHOT?
Bon Iver
“Holocene”
Words: Anisha Chandar