Reykjavík Grapevine - 07.06.2019, Síða 27

Countess Malaise
Countess Malaise, Reykjavík’s resi-
dent rap goth bitch, gives us the
tea on her perfect day in the city.
First thing in the morning
I wake up and the sun is shining
because I’m a summer child. I
have a tall glass of water, make a
smoothie and do some stretches.
That’s the perfect way to start your
day. Then, I go to the gym. I go to
World Class now, but in my perfect
world, Baðhúsið would still be open.
I liked that place because the vibe
was really cosy. I work out, sweat,
go in the hot pot, chill a little bit,
get a massage, and then really start
my day.
For lunch
For lunch, I go to some place where I
can sit outside and there’s a gluten
free and vegan lunch available. All
my friends are there and we spill
some tea and laugh our brains out
until I get a six pack.
In the afternoon
Now I have a six pack from laughing
and I’m feeling super sexy. I head
to the studio and write and record
three songs and feel accomplished.
Then, I go to the Reykjavík City
Library and chill in the comic book
section and read all the comics I
see. Afterwards, it’s off to Kolaportið,
where I’d buy some rings and get
blinged out. I’m feeling super shiny.
Around dinner
It’s like 17:00 now and I’m blinged
up with my six pack. I need some
nourishment, though, so I head to
Gló for the Mexican bowl. I get it
takeaway so I can sit outside in the
sun and tan. A friend I haven’t seen
in a long time sits down with me. We
chat and smoke a cigarette, but on
this perfect day it’s not cancerous.
In the heat of the night
At home, all my makeup brushes
are clean and I have everything I
need to beat my face exactly as I
want it, so I burn some incense, put
some nice lighting on, light a ton of
candles, and beat my face up. I look
super cute, tanned and still have a
six pack. Then, I get a taxi to Prikið
and everybody that I want to meet
is there. We have a great-ass time,
then I head home and take a shower
to wash away the day. After that, I
fuck all night.
Perfect Day
A face of the downtown scene tells us how to spend a perfect day in Reykjavík
Vital Info
Reykjavík Map Best Of ReykjavíkPlaces We Like
June 7th—June 20th
In Your
Pocket
Venues
The numbers on the right (i.e. E4) tell you
position on the map on the next page
Austur
Austurstræti 7 D3
American Bar
Austurstræti 8 D3
Andrými
Bergþórugata 20 G6
B5
Bankastræti 5 E4
Bar Ananas
Klapparstígur 28 E5
Bíó Paradís
Hverfisgata 54 E5
Bjarni Fel
Austurstræti 20 E4
Bravó
Laugavegur 22 E5
Boston
Laugavegur 28b E5
Dillon
Laugavegur 30 E5
Dubliner
Naustin 1-3 D3
English Pub
Austurstræti 12 D3
Gaukurinn
Tryggvagata 22 D3
Hard Rock Café
Lækjargata 2a D3
Hressó
Austurstræti 20 D3
Húrra
Naustin D3
Iðnó
Vonarstræti 3 E3
Kex Hostel
Skúlagata 28 E7
Kaffibarinn
Bergstaðastræti 1 E4
Kaffi Vínyl
Hverfisgatur 76 E6
Kiki Queer Bar
Laugavegur 22 E5
Loft
Bankastræti 7 E4
Mengi
Óðinsgata 2 F5
Nordic House
Sturlagata 5 H2
Paloma
Naustin D3
Prikið
Bankastræti 12 E4
R6013
Ingólfsstræti 20 E4
Reykjavík Roasters
Kárastígur 1 F5
Stofan Café
Vesturgata 3 D3
Ölsmiðjan
Lækjargata 10 E3
Tivoli bar
Hafnarstræti 4 D3
Tjarnarbíó
Tjarnargata 12 E3
Museums & Galleries
ART67
Laugavegur 67 F7
Open daily 9-21
ASÍ Art Gallery
Freyjugata 41 G6
Open Tue-Sun 13-17
Aurora Reykjavík
Grandagarður 2 B1
Open 09-21
Ásgrimur Jónsson
Museum
Bergstaðastr. 74 G4
July 8-Sep 1, Mon-Fri
Berg Contemporary
Klapparstígur 16 E5
Tu-F 11-17, Sat 13-17
The Culture House
Hverfisgata 15 E5
Open daily 10–17
The Einar Jónsson
Museum
Eiriksgata G5
Open Tue–Sun 10–17
Ekkisens
Bergstaðast. 25b F4
Gallerí List
Skipholt 50A H10
M-F 11-18, Sat 11-16
Hafnarborg
Strandgata 34, 220
Open Wed-Mon 12-17
Hitt Húsið
Pósthússtræti 3-5 D4
Hverfisgallerí
Hverfisgata 4 D4
Tu-Fri 13-17, Sat 14-17
i8 Gallery
Tryggvagata 16 D3
Tu-Fri 11-18, Sat
13-17
The Penis Museum
Laugavegur 116 F8
Open daily 10-18
Kirsuberjatréð
Vesturgata 4 D3
M-F 10-18, Sat-Sun
10-17
Kling & Bang
Grandagarður 20 A4
W-Sun 14-18, Th 12-21
Listastofan
Hringbraut 119
Open Wed-Sat 13-17
Living Art Museum
Granadarður 20 A4
T-Sun 12-18, Th 12-21
Mokka Kaffi
Skólavörðustíg. 3A E5
Open daily 9-18:30
Museum of Design and
Applied Art
Garðatorg 1
Open Tu-Sun 12-17
The National
Gallery of Iceland
Fríkirkjuvegur 7 F3
Open daily 10–17
The National Museum
Suðurgata 41 G2
Open daily 10–17
The Nordic House
Sturlugata 5 H2
Thu-Tu 11-17, W 11-20
Hafnarhús
Tryggvagata 17 D3
Open 10-17, Thu 10-22
Kjarvalsstaðir
Flókagata 24 H8
Open daily 10-17
Ásmundarsafn
Sigtún
Open daily 10-17
Reykjavík City Library
Tryggvagata 15 D3
Mon-Thu 10-19, Fri
11-18, Sat-Sun 13-17
Árbæjarsafn
Kistuhylur 4
Open daily 13-17
The Settlement
Exhibition
Aðalstræti 16 D3
Open daily 9-18
Reykjavík Museum
of Photography
Tryggvagata 15 D3
Mon-Thu 10-18, Fri
11-18, Sat-Sun 13-18
Saga Museum
Grandagarður 2 B2
Open daily 10-18
Sigurjón Ólafsson
Museum
Laugarnestangi 70
Open Tu-Sun 14-17
SÍM
Hafnarstræti 16 D3
Open Mon-Fri 10-16
Tveir Hrafnar
Baldursgata 12 G4
Open Fri-Sat 13-16
Wind & Weather
Window Gallery
Hverfisgata 37 E5
Venue Finder
Useful Numbers
Emergency: 112
On-call doctors: 1770
Dental emergency: 575 0505
Taxi: Hreyfill: 588 5522 - BSR: 561 0000
Post Office
The downtown post office has moved to
Hagatorgi 1, open Mon–Fri, 09:00–17:00.
Pharmacies
Lyf og heilsa, Egilsgata 3, tel: 563 1020
Lyfja, Laugavegur 16, tel: 552 4045
and Lágmúli 5, tel: 533 2300
Opening Hours - Bars & Clubs
Bars can stay open until 01:00 on
weekdays and 04:30 on weekends.
Opening Hours - Shops & Banks
Most shops: Mon–Fri 10–18, Sat 10–16,
Sun closed. Banks: Mon-Fri 09-16
Swimming Pools
Sundhöllin, the downtown pool at
Barónsstígur, is an indoor swimming
pool with hot tubs and a diving board.
More pools: gpv.is/swim
Open: Mon-Thu from 06:30–22. Fri from
06:30–20. Sat from 08–16. Sun from 10–18.
Public Toilets
Public toilets in the centre can be found
inside the green-poster covered towers
located at Hlemmur, Ingólfstorg, by
Hallgrímskirkja, by Reykjavík Art Mu-
seum, Lækjargata and by Eymundsson
on Skólavörðustígur. Toilets can also be
found inside the Reykjavík City Hall and
the Reykjavík Library.
Public Transport
Most buses run every 20–30 minutes
Fare: 460 ISK adults, 220 ISK children.
Buses run from 07–24:00, and 10–04:30
on weekends. More info: www.bus.is.
t
Words:
Hannah
Jane Cohen and
Countess Malaise
Photo:
Art Bicnick
“We spill some
tea and laugh our
brains out until I
get a six pack.”
Laugavegur 116 • 105 Reykjavík • Tel.: +354-561-6663
phallus@phallus.is • www.phallus.is
Open: 10-18 • Next to Hlemmur bus station
THE ICELANDIC
PENIS
MUSEUM
No pornography or offensive material in the museum.
It´s all about Dicks
it
Bar & Restaurant Hverfisgata 26
Bar & Restaurant
Hverfisgata 26