Reykjavík Grapevine - Feb 2020, Page 8

Dinner tables are nothing less than a
gamble about one’s future and, in worst
cases, harbingers of death. If you are
really unlucky, your husband will turn
crosseyed. So here are the do’s and
don’ts when it comes to the seemingly
harmless daily routine of sitting at a
dinner table.
The immense power
of the dinner host
Among Iceland’s dinner table supersti-
tions is the belief that where and how
you are seated will determine your
future marital status. If an unmarried
girl is seated between two brothers, she
won’t get married for the next seven
years. The same goes for the guys. The
seven-year rule also applies if you’re
seated with a table leg between your
knees. Some believe these seating
arrangements won’t necessarily stop
someone from getting married, but
their mother in law will be an absolute
hag. So, choose your poison.
A Michelin-star
level revenge
Now, if you’re having a dinner party, and
your frenemy is coming, here is your
chance to mess with her. Make her sit
at the end of the table. This means that
her husband will go crosseyed and you
can make fun of her forever. Revenge is
a dish best served at the end of the table.
If, when the dinner is over, you find
two knives laying together, forming a
cross, prepare for a string of bad luck.
If you drop a fork to the floor and it
manages to pierce the wooden floor to
stand up, it may seem cool at first, but
it actually means that you will die soon.
So, be careful where and how you sit,
and watch those forks!
The Possibility Of A
Cross-Eyed Husband
Realise your dreams with this one weird trick
8 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 02— 2020
Bistro Boy - evolve
Bistro Boy is definitely
our boy. He just
released a new EP
called ‘evolve,’ and
boy, has Bistro Boy
done just what the
title says. The album
is beautiful ambient-
fused electro with a
lot of soul. He takes
us from the wave of
sorrow to an electro
waltz and leaves us in
the sunset dust. It’s
a wholesome album
from a matured
artist. VG
Kaleo - Break My Baby
Kaleo released two
new songs in January,
“I Want More” and
“Break My Baby.” The
latter is classic Kaleo,
with the definite ri!,
and the rough whisky
voice of Jökull “the
abs” Júlíusson. The
song is solid rock
and roll with strong
blues vibes. If you like
Kaleo, or abs, this is
for you. VG
Hatari - Engin
Miskunn
We all know how
everything will end.
With the meteorite of
leather-clad-BDSM-
posthumous-laughter
of Hatari. So buckle
up, listen to this song,
and scream No Mercy
if you can’t repeat
the Icelandic lyrics.
Doomsday is near.
Just don’t forget your
leather thong for
when the Mad-Max
era is upon us. VG
Ólafur Arnalds & RY
X - Oceans
This chill trip-hop
tune is not only easy
to listen to, it’s hard
to stop. It starts
sparsely, quietly,
before the bass
kicks in, and with it
the melody. I found
myself nodding along
while working Give it
a spin. SPO
Vil - Hvor Drömmene
Okay Icelanders,
don’t get mad just
yet. Yes the lyrics
are in Danish and Vil
are a Danish band,
but they are here to
give back to Iceland
and run away from
their own crown
(...we’re speaking
for them here, no
direct quotes). This
project takes you
on a beautiful trip
through the insides
of the human dreams,
whatever form they
may take. IP
Ramses - Legend í
leiknum
Join the Faraó of
Icelandic Rap in his
musical trip through
the ages to install
the new musical
empire. No pyramids
or aliens, but a lot
of headbanging
and walking like an
Egyptian. IP
JFDR - Shimmer
This song moves
through your veins
like watered-down
blood. You will catch
yourself diving into
a sad but confident
mood as soon as
Jófrí"ur’s sweet and
crystalline voice
invades your skin and
raises your armhairs.
It’s beautiful in the
same way that rain
is when you watch
it from inside the
house. IP
GRAPEVINE
PLAYLIST
JUST SAYINGS COMIC
The Icelandic saying “sjaldan er ein
báran stök” literally means “there is
seldom only one wave that breaks”, but
figuratively it’s the equivalent of “when
it rains, it pours.” One of the great
things about this phrase is that it can
be applied to both good and bad situa-
tions (although more often than not, it
usually has a negative connotation), so
it can also function like “good things
come in threes,” only waves seldom
come in threes, either. And if there are
any people who understand the way
waves work, it would be an island fish-
ing nation. Try saying it the next time
an Icelandic friend shares some bad
news with you, just to show what a great
friend you are. ASF
ICELANDIC
SUPERSTITIONS
Words:
Valur Grettisson
Photo:
Adobe Stock
First
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It's ok! Some of our best friends are cross-eyed!
„Sjaldan
er ein
báran
stök“
“Now, if you’re
having a dinner
party, and your
frenemy is coming,
here is your chance
to mess with her.”