Reykjavík Grapevine - nóv. 2020, Blaðsíða 7

T!r was the God of War and Justice.
He made the baddest monsters quake
in their boots and great white sharks
wet themselves. (Or he would have, if
great white sharks were endemic to
this part of the world and if sharks
urinated, which they don’t. But you get
the picture.)
"✧"✧"✧"
T!r is described variously as the son
of Odin and the son of Hymir. As with
modern politicians, Norse gods liked to
sleep around a lot and it wasn’t always
totally clear whose kid was whose.
(Nor did anyone care, they were gods!)
But whoever did father T!r certainly
passed down a lot of hardcore-muscle-
man-crazy-tough-guy genes, because
that was T!r to a T. The T in this case
standing for testosterone.
One time, the gods were having a
bit of trouble with this wolf called
Fenrir, who used to break every chain
they tried to shackle him with. So, logi-
cally, they had some dwarves make a
special magic ribbon to bind him up
for good—but Fenrir was like, “No! You
can only tie me up with this ribbon if
one of you volunteers to put your hand
in my mouth!” Because he was a smart
wolf who knew how to bargain.
Unfortunately for Fenrir, T!r wasn’t
scared of putting his hand into a wolf’s
mouth—just like how he wasn’t in the
least bit scared to be mashed into a
pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out and
his elbows broken. But anyway, wolves
aren’t exactly known for their honour
code, so T!r’s hand was bitten clean off.
Not that T!r cared. He had two!
7 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 09— 2020
Salt Ómland -
Sk!jaborgir
Ok, this is so cute.
We’re smiling,
squealing and
feeling our best
folky feelings and
then—OH MY GOSH!
WHAT? Yes, you think
this is gonna just
be a sweet summer
song and then
some extremely
unexpected chord
progressions come
out and you’re
getting those ASMR
chills. Seriously,
intern Jess and
I audibly gasped
during the key
change at 1:55. HJC
Magnús Jóhann -
Waiting
Truly stunning.
Kind of like if Philip
Glass, Ludovico
Einaudi and Atticus
Ross got drunk
and decided to do
an experimental
improvised col-
laboration with
their conservatory
friends, who were
under the impres-
sion they were
doing a minimalist
soundtrack album
for an indie slow-
burn psychological
thriller. What a
misunderstanding!
Thankfully it ended
up with this beauti-
ful track. HJC
boncyan - It’s On Me
boncyan identifies
as a “throwback
to the boy bands
of yesteryear.”
While this debut
definitely has a
jazzier feel than
the Backstreet
Boys, NKOTB, or
the CRIMINALLY-
underrated
O-Town, it’s got
the fundamentals
down: wistful,
loving, designed-
to-make-teenage-
girls-swoon
lyrics, smooth
harmonies and a
very ~emotional~
ending. HJC
Jelena Ciric - Lines
In the midst of this
worldwide chaos,
turn to singer-
songwriter Jelena
Ciric to remember
the sweetness of
ordinary life. “I went
to a fortune teller
on St. Clair, west of
Forest Hill. I know
I was curious, had
a half-hour to kill,”
Jelena starts, ac-
companied by up-
beat piano chords
and those light,
delicate, childlike
indie vocals we so
need right now.
(Btw, the Grape-
vine unanimously
agreed that this
could easily be the
motivational song
in a musical.) HJC
Countess Malaise -
That Bitch
“I'm too hard.
I'm too bad. I'm
too sad… but
I've always been
that bitch.” So
starts the latest
e!ort from goth-
rapper-monarch
Countess Malaise.
The Countess
is always full of
these bad-bitch-
confidence-fuck-
you moments, but
never has it felt so
authentic as it does
now—seriously,
only she could
make vulnerability
seem hard af. Dear
TikTokers: make a
dance for this, pls.
HJC
GRAPEVINE
PLAYLIST
JUST SAYINGS
Are you really frustrated by that guy who
can’t stop talking at work but doesn’t
actually do any work? The one who is
just hanging there, beside the cooler,
talking to random coworkers? Well, we
Icelanders have a saying about them:
“Oft hefur vinnulatur viljuga tungu.”
This translates to, “A lazy person
often has an energetic tongue!”
This, of course, applies to all politi-
cians, scholars in literature and philoso-
phy and self-absorbed journalists (not
me, of course), and obviously, that idiot
coworker you hate and just keep going
on about while not doing actual work
VG
First
The kind of dude you'd name a boat a"er
What do you call the print version of a subtweet?
„Oft hefur
vinnulatur
viljuga tungu“
DEITIES OF
ICELAND
Superpowers:
Combat, courage, not even
blinking even if you remove his
limbs.
Weaknesses:
Sorry, did you say “weaknesses”?
Modern Analogue:
Arnold Schwarzenegger beating
up aliens in Predator.
T!r, The Tou#h Guy
You can call him Mr. Tuesday
Words:
Iona Rangeley-
Wilson
Illustration:
Unknown