Árdís - 01.01.1953, Side 60

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ÁRDl S
alone. “I’m surprised,” she said, standing up, “that a man of your
intelligence should allow a childhood inhibition to ruin his life, and
that of a loved one.” She looked at him sternly, and said. “I think
you should consult a psychiatrist.”
A surprised look flashed in his eyes, and he laughed shortly.
He stood up, and not quite meeting her eyes, said. “I didn’t come
to talk about myself, but to get Cecilia May.”
Grace drew in her breath sharply, and felt her temples begin-
ning to throb.
“When something unpleasant has to be done,” Dr. Mike said,
watching her, “it should be done quickly, with no time to dwell on
it. Cecilia May’s new parents are in from the farm to get her. I’m
taking her now.”
“I’ll get her ready,” Grace said in a flat voice.
She had a numb feeling as she changed the child to the white
dress with green smocking, and green coat with matching tam, that
she had made for her.
Without a word, Dr. Mike picked Cecilia May up, when she
was ready. Grace’s arms ached to hold her in her arms once more,
to crush her to her bosom for the last time, but she kept her arms
limp by her sides. The little girl tugged at her tam, pulling it down
across her forehead, hiding her curls. Grace longed to straighten
it, but something held her back.
“You’ve got what it takes,” Dr. Mike said. “I knew you’d be
like this.” He gave her shoulder a little pat, and said. “I’m coming
back to see you after seven this evening. I’ve got plans for you.”
“She’ll miss her nap,” Grace thought, when they were gone.
Then remembered that the child was no longer her concern.
Listlessly, she began to pick up the baby toys and clothes and
placed them in a carton. She put that, and the high chair, and the
carriage in the alcove off the hall. Now there was not a thing to
remind her that a child had been in the house. It was a little like
putting away a dead loved one’s belongings, she thought.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said aloud, when she found herself on
the verge of tears. “Cecilia May isn’t dead. She will be happy, and
make others happy.”
But she, herself, was anything but happy. She even felt worse
than she did six months ago. When the silence of the house became