Reykjavík Grapevine - 04.12.2009, Blaðsíða 30

Reykjavík Grapevine - 04.12.2009, Blaðsíða 30
December is pretty much universally recognised as the most difficult month of the year, what with the cold, the dark and the inescapable, mind-numbing ever-pres- ent Christmas music. However, what few realise is that this bleak month is especially harrowing for those who knit. The process of knitterly Christmastime misery usually begins in early November, when the knitter realises that friends and family members have begun their annual mumbling about how cold their various body parts are. The knitter feels uniquely equipped to remedy this sorry state of af- fairs and so self-imposes a mission to whip up a hand-knit extravaganza of warmth- producing garments by Christmas. However, instead of at this point getting to work on the present-making, thereby taking the only course of action that will allow them to avoid a massive boulder of failure and general bad feeling being de- posited upon their souls on December 24, most knitters choose to take a look at the calendar and exclaim: “Christmas is seven weeks away! That’s a long time, and then some. Have you seen how fast I knit? I’ll have twelve presents knit up in one week- end easy! Now, back to those seven intri- cate projects all intended for myself.” The fallacy of this mindset tends to be- come clear to the knitter in the first week of December, when the cold-related mum- bling of loved ones has reached a certain momentum and the seven intricate projects intended for the knitter’s own personal consumption have each progressed by about a centimetre. Suddenly the pressure to knit gifts becomes almost tangible, as if the atmosphere has turned into an all- enveloping knit-slowing jelly. The knitter quickly and desperately abandons grandiose plans of sweaters for all and moves on to the more manage- able field of knitted accessories. This is an especially painful transition for Icelandic knitters, since nowhere in the world is the sweater as prized an object, to the detri- ment of all other knitwear, as on this cold rock. But all knitters, even Icelandic ones, must bow to the following logic that re- sounds in the brains of knitters everywhere when Christmas is a mere three weeks away: “A hat knits up in no time at all, espe- cially if I use bulky yarn. And I am a speedy knitter; I’ve just been kind of lazy lately. If I sit down and put my mind to it I’ll churn out twelve bulky hats in one weekend, no problem. Now, back to that sweater I want to wear to all the Christmas parties. Wooo!” Clearly, this poor procrastinating soul is doomed. Fittingly, the next step in the Christ- mas-knitting process is nearly apocalyp- tic: darkness of the soul descends as the knitter unravels and loses it completely, sweatily tossing and turning during sleep- less nights spent worrying about the dis- appointment about to be inflicted on loved ones. This stage is reached about a week before that sacred holiday itself, as the knitter gazes upon the sad pile of four bulky hats completed (or just about, if we disre- gard the need for the weaving in of ends and blocking) and realises with horror that not only will most friends and family get store-bought hats for Christmas, they will also have to endure the humiliation of wit- nessing a chosen few receiving handknit treasures. The mere thought of this unfair scenario causes the knitter to experience vivid hallucinations of crying relatives, an- gry friends and, worst of all, bragging knit- ters claiming to have finished all of their gifts on time. Witnessing the knitter’s dissolution of resolve and sanity can in many cases be great fun for his or her loved ones. In fact, deranged knitterly antics and their intrinsic entertainment value may very well be a bet- ter Christmas present than any hat could ever be. However, be aware that most knit- ters would disagree with this statement. When Christmas itself rolls around, some knitters will still be keeping to a pun- ishing schedule, pushing themselves to finish as many handknits as humanly pos- sible. Other knitters will have taken the less crazy route of resigning themselves to their fate as failed craftsmen and have taken their humiliation to its logical extreme by purchasing presents made of fleece at the mall. But it matters not one jot which of these paths the knitter chooses, for both types will encounter the same inevitable truth once the presents have been opened: most handknit gifts are received with only lukewarm admiration and, following the obligatory wearing of the item at one social event, are forever relegated to the murkiest depths of the deepest closet. For this very reason the smartest and most seasoned knitters choose to knit items mostly intend- ed for their own enjoyment and disregard gift knitting almost completely. When Christmas is over and done with, knitters, as well as others, can relax a little. The thought that keeps them going is that no matter how little the gifted handknits may have been appreciated, at least it is a full twelve months until the next full-on session of dread and disillusionment. The more neurotic knitters may well expend en- ergy in January and February seething over the infrequent appearances of handknits on the limbs of loved ones, but as spring and summer bring new and fascinating patterns and yarns, the pain of misunder- stood artistry is slowly but surely minimised and forgotten. The following November, the world again seems new and full of promise, and that beautiful, fully-patterned sweater would look so good on Mom. Such is the natural cycle of life among knitters, and while it is easy enough to recognise, it is harder to avoid. It is un- avoidable, much like the process of age- ing, and is therefore best accepted and embraced to avoid unnecessary anguish. For those knitters currently in the grips of Christmas-knitting madness, mired in the cautious optimism of the second stage, believing that they can still pull off acces- sories for all: considers yourselves fairly warned! But since reason cannot reach you now, here is a pattern for quickly-executed ladies mittens that look more time consum- ing than they are. Merry Christmas! frasIer mITTens neeDLes: Set of 5 5mm double pointed needles maTerIaLs: Two contrasting colours of unspun Icelandic wool (Plötulopi), held double, approximately 50 g. of each. Colours are referred to as MC (main colour) and CC (contrast colour). noTe: If you do not understand knitting instructions such as k 2tog or ssk, please look them up on the internet. Or ask someone what they mean. Work it out. Instructions (same for both mittens): Cast on 32 sts with MC. Divide stitches evenly between four needles, taking care not to twist the work. Knit in the round four rounds in garters stitch, creating two ridges. Now begin 1x1 ribbing, adding CC: knit one with CC, purl one with MC, repeat around. Work rib for approx. 4.5 cm, then knit one round with CC only, increasing 8 stitches evenly around. 40 stitches. Now begin colour pat- tern: First round: knit 3 with CC, knit 1 with MC, repeat around. Second round: knit 1 with MC, *knit1 with CC, knit 3 with MC, repeat from * around, end knit 2 with MC. Third round: knit around with MC. Fourth round: same as second round. Fifth round: same as first round. Sixth round: knit around with CC. Repeat these six rounds to make pattern. Place thumb when hand is approx. 6 cm long. Note: It is easiest to place thumb in either rounds three or six, as these are solid coloured rounds. Place thumb so: Right mitten: knit first 8 stitches of round on to scrap yarn, slide the stitches back on to left needle and knit again, fol- lowing pattern. Left mitten: as for right mit- ten, only knit stitches 9-16 of round on to scrap yarn. Knit colour pattern until hand of mitten is approx. 14.5 cm long, or as needed. Begin decreasing for top of mitten (still following six round colour pattern): Round 1: Needle 1: knit 2tog, knit to end of needle. Needle 2: knit to last 2 stitches, ssk. Needle 3: knit 2tog, knit to end of needle. Needle 4: knit to last 2 stitches, ssk. Round 2: knit all stitches. Repeat these 2 rounds until 8 stitches remain. Break yarn, thread through stitches and pull tight. Note: To create a solid-coloured border for the top of the mitten, use the same colour every time for the decrease stitches, on both the decrease rounds and the knit rounds. Thumb: Same for both mittens. Unravel scrap yarn, pick up 18 stitches (scrap yarn stitches + 2 sts to avoid holes at the sides of thumb) around the hole with either MC or CC as your taste dictates, divide stitches between 4 needles, knit 1 round decreas- ing 2 stitches evenly. 16 stitches. Knit until thumb is approx. 5.5 cm long, or as needed. Decrease for top of thumb: Needle 1: knit 2tog, knit to end. Needle 2: knit to last 2 stitches, ssk. Needle 3: knit 2 tog, knit to end. Needle 4: knit to last 2 stitches, ssk. Repeat decrease round, with no plain knit round in between, until 8 stitches remain. Break yarn and pull through remaining loops. Finishing: Weave in ends and block mittens. Fresh organic yogurt with exotic flavors Biobú ehf • www.biobu.is Organic yogurt! E IN N , T V E IR O G Þ R ÍR 2 98 .0 34 www.kraum.is Kraum of the crop Aðalstræti 10 101 Reykjavík Tel: 517 7797 Opening hours Sept-May: Mon-Fri 09:00-18:00 and Sat-Sun 12:00-17:00 Leading in Icelandic design represent ing over 200 des igners G ar ð ar st ræ ti A ða ls tr æ ti Austurstræti Hafnarstræti Læ kj ar ga ta Vonarstræti Geirsgata Tryggvagata Reykjavík Harbour vIgDís ÞormóðsDóTTIr The reykjavík grapevine Xmas special spectacular 2009 Issue 18 14 Xmas | Knitting Knitting for Christmas The Horror! The Horror!

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