Reykjavík Grapevine - 10.08.2012, Blaðsíða 4

I do not know where to write about this, so
it comes to you. We just came home from
a trip to Iceland about 2 days ago. While we
were visiting tourist shops, my boyfriend
noticed this candy named "Puffin Eggs." I
think they were made of black licorice and
chocolate. Anyway, when we got home, he
told me that he had bought a box of them.
At a tourist shop or the airport, I don't know
for sure. When he opened the bag, the candy
was disgusting! We found cat hair (we as-
sume) in it and a dark greasy fingerprint on
the inside of the box. Gross! There is not
anything we can do about it now but I think
that people need to know about this. Where
are these nasty gross things packaged? In
an American petrol station toilet? My boy-
friend threw away the box, so I do not know
the candy company. Don't you have health
inspectors there? Can anyone in your office
look into this and inform the proper people?
Gina-Wales
Ewwww! GROSS!
We don’t even really know what to say...
Do you think someone could have opened
this particular box at the store? Perhaps that
person was wearing a f leece sweater (a hair
magnet if there ever was one) and perhaps
when they reached in to steal just one puf-
fin egg from your box, they inadvertently left
behind a cat hair and a smudgy fingerprint?
Oh, but that’s just ewww. Ewww. EWww.
EWWW. GROSS.
We’re terribly sorry for this horrible experi-
ence. Some of us at the office here have a
hair phobia and if this had happened to us
we would probably never eat a chocolate puf-
fin egg ever.

SUBJECT: how to make pirates in africa by
ingi freyer
hellohello the grapevine
i am so happy somebody writes about this
publicly.
After years of stories about the evil pirates,
during which nobody dared to ask why afri-
cans become pirates, the whole story is be-
ing discussed. it ultimately sheds a dark spot
on day to day newsreports. bouncing reuters
messages to the masses does not explain how
the world functions.
no doubt these are double standards and
a new form of empirealism. dont be afraid
to examine the dark side of wealth. you are
not alone. many countries will have to do the
same, sooner or later. at latest, when africans
ask for asylum.
takk fyrir
bless bless
raphael
Sent from my iPhony
one last thing to add to my sermon:
if you want to see how the image of the evil
pirate has become common language, watch
the intro story of the movie expendables. if
i remenber right, a bunch of muscle packed
paramiltary americans show their superi-
ority in a raid against african pirates on a
freight ship.
in the intro stories of james bond movies,
007 used to escape from a mission behind
the iron curtain with a beautiful lady in his
arm. now as the phantom behind the curtain
has vanished, among other threats, pirates
appeared on stage. though, by looking close-
ly into the pirates eyes, we may see ourselves.
or at least big companies who are based
in the so called west, which are dealing with
primary goods and food in developing coun-
tries. we let these companies do their busi-
ness, buy their products and politicians prob-
ably give a special tax deal.
yes, the 21st century is complicated.
but if one wants to know, one can know. or
how chomsky starts his sentences: "if you
read, you will realise..."
bless bless
raphael
Sent from my iPhony
Dear Raphael,
Thank you for your letter. We’re so happy
that somebody reads about this kind of stuff.
It would be pretty scary if people were only
ever interested in big catastrophic eruptions
and small, easily digestible mini articles that
don’t really say anything.
Your pals, GV
Dear Grapevine,
First of all, thanks for being an excellent read. Without wishing to
make it sound likeexaggerated f lattery, I am often quite impressed
by the quality of the writing in most Grapevine articles, especially
assuming the vehicular language is not the writer's native/mother
tongue.
I just wanted to share a little story with you and the readers.
The other day, I accidentally discovered a new sport I'd never
heard about. It's called Frisbee Golf, and it hurts. At the same time, I
became acquainted with a genius piece of urban planning in Reykja-
vik. For some unearthly reason, someone thought it would be a great
idea to set up a so-called Frisbee Golf Course in Klambratún, a park in
town people otherwise tend to walk through or chill out on a normal
day. (Reykvíkingar probably even have really crazy habits, like taking
there kids there to play, walk there with their grandparents on a Sat-
urday, chill out peacefully on the grass playing cards, and loads more
perverse stuff like that.)
Back to Frisbee Golf: apparently, the rules basically consist in
throwing an identified f lying object – hard – into a designated recep-
tacle, the distance of which is theoretically calculated to be reasonable
enough that it can be reached even if you're not too good at aiming.
For aficionados, this “sport” is probably much more than that, and
I'm willing to accept that it's surely real fun if you know how to play.
Only since it now leaves me with scratched glasses and a black-eye,
I'm rather sceptical about the whole thing.
I was walking with a friend on the path last Thursday lunch, when
suddenly, out of nowhere, I was hit smack in the face by what I discov-
ered afterwards to be a Frisbee.
It hit me so hard that my glasses f lew off my face, on to the f loor, bent.
The impact left me with a cut just over the eyelid and bleeding from
my cheekbone. I was so dazed I collapsed to the ground and couldn't
see or think straight for a while. Not over dramatizing, I believe I have
my glasses to thank that I actually did not lose an eye; had it not been
for them, I'd have received a Frisbee full on in my eye-ball.
Now a few days have passed, and nothing more is wrong with me
other than a swollen cheekbone, a left eye slowly but surely turning
all the colours of the rainbow, and scratched glasses.
But I ask myself the following question: Pray tell me, what the hell
is a “Frisbee golf course” doing in a park? Fair enough, accidents hap-
pen when people throw stuff. But why on earth actually purposefully
increase risks of accidents? I'm ok, luckily enough, but what happens
when a grandma or a kid gets hit in the face?
Maybe the guys were really bad at aiming, or exceptionally good
at throwing from a really long distance. I say that, because my friend
and I checked the next day : all things considered (including consid-
ering where they were aiming - c'est à dire about 20-30 meters from
where we were walking on the path in full view), if they were looking,
it was impossible for them not to see us coming.
I will not go on about this for ever.
But, Dear Grapevine, since you are so universally read (at least in
Reykjavík that is...), I wanted to use you as a vehicle to pass on this
private message to all (ir)responsible Frisbee players : “Damn well
look BEFORE you throw !!!”.
And most especially, I would like to seize this heaven sent opportu-
nity to thank the city of Reykjavík for the brilliant piece of urban plan-
ning which almost left me one-eyed.
How about a shooting range on Laugavegur, next time ?
Sincerely,
Patch
Dear Patch,
That sucks. We are sorry about your eye. We had no idea frisbees were
so dangerous. We will for sure be careful next time we walk across
Miklatún (crossing Miklatún on our way to Öskjuhlíð for some chillin’
is one of our favourite activities!). Hopefully your prize will serve as
some sort of consolation.
Say your piece, voice your
opinion, send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
Sour
grapes
& stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER
FREE ICELANDIC GOURMET FEAST
There's prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS. And
it’s a scorcher! No, really! It's a goddamn scorcher is what
it is! Whoever sends us THE MOST AWESOME LETTER
this issue will receive A FRIGGIN GOURMET FEAST FOR
TWO at TAPAS BARINN.
Did you hear that? Write in and complain about something
(in an admirable way), win a gourmet feast at one of
Reykjavík's finest?
THIS IS THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY IS WHAT IT IS!
What's in a 'lobster feast'? Well, one has to assume that it has lobster-a-plenty. Is there
more? Probably, but still... Gourmet feast? Wow! DON’T PANIC if your letter wasn’t picked
AWESOME LETTER. There's always next month!
Now, if you're in the market for free goodies next month, write us some sort of letter. Give us
your worst: letters@grapevine.is
Most Awesome Letter of the Issue
Höfðatorg Tower
105 Reykjavik
Tel: 575 7575
Opening hours:
Sun.-Wed. 11.00 – 22.00
Thu.-Sat. 11.00 – 24.00
fabrikkan@fabrikkan.is www.fabrikkan.is
BE SQUARE
AND BE THERE
THE MBURGER
Gullfoss and Geysir are surely a must-see in Iceland,
but neither is something you eat. That‘s why we have
14 brilliant and creative hamburgers at the
Hamburger Factory.
The Reykjavik Grapevine‘s Best of Reykjavik panel
awarded the Hamburger Factory “Best specialty
burger 2010“ and “Best veggie burger 2011“.
It made us happy. Because we aim to please.
The Factory offers Iceland‘s best selection of gourmet
hamburgers with a nice selection of salads, meat
courses and delicious desserts. And of course we only
use 100% fresh high-quality ingredients, directly from
the Icelandic nature.
Located on the ground floor of the highest tower
of Reykjavik, with an amazing view of Höfði,
the meeting place of Ronald Reagan and Mikhail
Gorbachev, the Hamburger Factory has been packed
with burger-craving customers since its opening in
april 2010; among the regulars is Iceland‘s best
known fisherman, Eric Clapton.
Attention: Our hamburger buns are not round.
They are square. Does it taste better? You tell us.
HOW TO GET HERE
SOME TIPS ON HOW TO GET TO US WHILE LOOKING COOL AND LOCAL
From that point on you are in good hands.
Be there or be square!
“Íslenska Hamborgarafabrikkan, takk”
(„The Icelandic Hamburger Factory, please“)
This is what you say to the taxi driver
or when asking locals for directions:
“Sælar! Hvað er að frétta”
(Hello! What‘s up)
When you arrive you tell the waiter:
“Ég er þokkalega svangur,
get ég fengið hamborgara”
(I‘m quite hungry, can I get a hamburger)