The White Falcon


The White Falcon - 04.10.1985, Blaðsíða 4

The White Falcon - 04.10.1985, Blaðsíða 4
Shattering spouse abuse myths Story by Moilie Isaacson Editorls note: Moilie Isaac- son is the wife of an Air Force member. She is an instructor of social work at Texas Lutheran College, Seguin, Texas, and a practicing family counselor whose credentials include master's degrees in both social work and public administration. Most people grow up expecting to marry and raise a family. Once they start dating, they be- gin to look for that special someone, and when he or she comes along, marriage usually follows. For most, this is a satisfy- ing way of life. But for some, the fantasy of a happy home dies when they become the victims of violence. For these people who made an unfortunate marital choice, life becomes a nightmare of verbal and physical abuse. It is estimated that one out of every five spouses experience some sort of physical abuse dur- ing married life. Right now, one out of every 15 relation- ships is experiencing the kind of violence that will send the victim to the hospital. The military family mirrors the problems of society. Al- though the military family is unique, it has been plagued with the problem of spouse abuse. Sposue abuse affects every as- pect of our lives, from work and productivity, to recreation and self-worth. How can two people know when 7 ✓ /*!/ - 7 / they are dating that his or her future spouse is an abuser? Can behavior be predicted before it occurs? Sometimes it is impossible to predict behavior, but there are warning signs which may be help- ful. Knowing the myths about family violence, and examing your future mate in an objective light can be useful. MYTH NO. 1: The abuser is a monster, angry all the time. Not true. The abuser is usually a quiet person, until he or she becomes angry. Sometimes the abuser is overly jealous or sus- picious. At first, all this at- tention may be flattering, but soon becomes too confining. MYTH NO. 2: Alcohol is the cause of spouse abuse. Although alcohol is certainly a "trigger" for violence, "going on the wa- gon" doesn't stop the abuse. Abusers hit because they don't know how to express themselves in constructive ways. MYTH NO. 3: Abusers only come from poor backgrounds and broken homes. Not true. Abusers come from every level of society including the well educated and wealthy. MYTH NO. 4: A woman makes a man hit her. She asks for it. A woman may think that she can control a man's abusive behavior, but she can't. Most women are abused because of trivial things The incident triggers the vio- lence. And if that incident is prevented, another will take its place. MYTH NO. 5: If the abuser promises to stop, he or she will stop. False. Love and promises are not enough. The abuser must learn new ways to express anger without resorting to violence. Help is needed. Don't become the victim of family violence. If you see po- tential problems in your rela- tionship, get help. Don't fool yourself, violence is serious. 1985 DoD Combined Federal Campaign Overseas Story by J01 Howard Watters The Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) drive has started at many bases and will be starting short- ly at the rest. The starting date and duration will vary with locality. CFC is a once-a-year solicitation of the military services and federal employees for a variety of worthy causes. Your contribution goes to support voluntary health and welfare agencies locally, nationally and inter- nationally. It is the only authorized charity campaign for all Department of Defense personnel. When a CFC worker approaches you remember that one or more of the participating agencies help us or our families at some time in our lives. So be as generous as you can. 4 Here on the NATO Base, the 1985 CFC Coordi- nator is Ensign Tina Van Hook, of the Air Opera- tions Department. This year's local Combined Federal Campaign drive will get underway Oct. 30. and will run through Dec. 11. For more information concerning the 1935 CFC drive, please contact Ens. Van Hook, during nor- mal working hours, at ext. 2280. SUPPORT COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN OVERSEAS AREA October 4, 19o5 The White Falcon

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The White Falcon

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