Reykjavík Grapevine - 12.09.2014, Síða 8

Iceland | For Dummies
Remember last issue when we
complained that the Bárðar-
bunga volcano was a huge dis-
appointment for not having the de-
cency to erupt? Well, apparently the
volcano gods read the Grapevine,
because a huge fissure opened up
in Holuhraun and began spew-
ing forth some very photogenic
magma. Icelanders were quick to
ask the most important question:
What are we going to name the new
lava field when all is said and done?
The jury’s still out on that one, but
for now, this is proving to be the
ideal volcanic situation: pretty lava,
no airplane-choking ash clouds
and no one hurt or injured. Now if
we can just find a way to charge
tourists money to look at it …
It looks like the Progressive
Party needs to come up with
some new ideas, as it turns out
that their much-lauded household
debt relief package doesn’t actu-
ally have all the money it needs to
fulfil the promise that got them into
power last year. Whoops! In fairness,
though, Prime Minister Sigmun-
dur Davíð Gunnlaugsson said the
money was supposed to come from
a new bank tax—it’s the banks that
don’t want to pay it. Maybe they
can have a bake sale or something.
In what is sure to be a worthwhile
venture, foreign investors
are now putting their money
on mining for gold in Iceland.
Significant quantities of the met-
al were found in Þormóðsdalur,
and there’s hope that even more
can be unearthed. While it’s un-
likely that this will kick off an era
of wild prospecting and pioneer-
style justice, you never know.
BY PAUL FONTAINE
8
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 14 — 2014
The Faroese trawl-er 'Næraberg' was fishing for mack-erel in Greenlan-dic waters when its engine suf-fered a malfunc-
tion. As the Icelandic Coast Guard was
best situated to help, it sent a plane out
to the trawler with spare engine parts,
which it dropped in a parachute. The
Faroese crew retrieved them in a
dinghy and went to work repairing
the engine.
Another lovely story of coopera-
tion in the North Atlantic Ocean,
where hard men with soft hearts
help each other survive.
After the attempted repairs, the en-
gine could only produce a fraction of
normal power. The ship set course for
Iceland. Icelandic harbour authori-
ties asked it to turn back and leave
Icelandic territorial waters, even
though it was in distress and a storm
was coming. After changing their
mind and allowing the ship to dock
in Reykjavík, authorities said that the
crew would not be allowed to disem-
bark, not even to restock their sup-
plies of water, food or oil. There was
even a delay in allowing repairmen
onto the ship, since it had been fish-
ing for mackerel.
Holy mackerel! Seriously, do Ice-
landers consider mackerel holy
and shun heretics who fish for it?
No, but the Faroe Islands and Iceland
have a dispute over mackerel fish-
ing rights. The Faroese entered into
an agreement about mackerel stocks
with the EU and Norway, excluding
Iceland from the negotiations. A 1998
Icelandic law bans foreign ships from
docking if they are fishing in stocks
which Iceland has disputes over. Ice-
landic harbour authorities considered
themselves bound by this law to deny
the 'Næraberg' service. Not everyone
agrees, including the harbour master
in Reykjavík, Gísli Gíslason, who said
that the Faroese ship should be treat-
ed like an Icelandic ship in a similar
situation would be, as required by the
Hoyvík Agreement.
Oh yes, the Hoyvík Agreement. It's
fourth on my list of international
accords which sound like my cat
coughing up a hairball, after the
treaties of Hudaybiyyah, Gyehae
and Yazhelbitsy.
If your cat makes noises that sound
like Yazhelbitsy, you should take it
to a vet. The Hoyvík Agreement is an
extensive free trade agreement be-
tween Iceland and the Faroe Islands,
lifting almost all restrictions on busi-
nesses in the two countries, with no
exceptions for refusing aid to ships
in need of repairs. This pigdickery by
Icelandic authorities did not go over
well, neither in the Faroe Islands
nor in Iceland. Internet commenters
frothed, politicians who like being
angry said angry things in the me-
dia, and people in Iceland collected
money to throw the fishermen on the
'Næraberg' a Domino's pizza party on
their ship.
Isn't feeding someone Domino's
Pizza against the Geneva Conven-
tion? Or at least the International
Treaty of Eww Yuck Gross?
They were being nice, no need to be
a snob. One thing in particular was
brought up time and again: when
the Faroe Islands provided an emer-
gency loan to Iceland right after the
2008 financial collapse. The crew
themselves brought it up immediately
when they contacted Faroese media.
The 40 million Euro loan by the na-
tion of fifty thousand people was the
first to be promised to Iceland, and
was by far the biggest in terms of
money per capita. In fact, the Faroese
have a long history of helping Ice-
landers in need, for instance donat-
ing large amounts of money after a
volcanic eruption in 1973 forced the
evacuation of Vestmannaeyjar, and
when two separate avalanches in 1995
resulted in more than 30 deaths in the
Westfjords.
In return they get donkeyshit
about mackerel from the Icelandic
government?
And pizza from Domino's. The Icelan-
dic government is not about to back
down on mackerel. Sigurður Ingi
Jóhannsson, the Minister of Fisheries
and Agriculture, responded to a sug-
gestion by a member of the Faroese
parliament that the Hoyvík Agree-
ment be overturned, by saying: "The
Faroese are party to an agreement
on mackerel fishing that means that
we don't have the same rights as the
Faroese. And is that in breach of the
Hoyvík Agreement? We need to con-
sider that at the same time we consid-
er whether a harbour ban is in breach
of the Hoyvík Agreement."
Always nice when national minis-
ters respond by saying the equiva-
lent of: "If I'm a wombatfucker,
what does that make you?"
The Icelandic government went even
lower when Jóhann Guðmundsson,
the deputy director general of the
Ministry of Industry and Innovation,
deciding to put the blame on the crew
of the damaged fishing vessel: "It was
truly a great surprise to us that a ship
which should know all the applicable
rules, including that it is not allowed
to unload their catch in an Icelandic
harbour, should all of a sudden lack
oil and provisions." Which is pretty
close to accusing the crew of faking
the damage to the ship. Maybe he
thought they were just really hungry
for Domino's.
NEWS
IN
BRIEF
CONTINUES
So What's This Faroese
Ship I Keep Hearing About?
Words by Kári Tulinius @Kattullus
Illustration by Lóa Hjálmtýsdóttir
TEMPL AR ASUND 3
BREAKFAST,
LUNCH & DINNER