Reykjavík Grapevine - 04.12.2015, Page 2

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The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 1 — 2011 2
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 18 — 2015
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The world is one strange, fucked up place.
You never know what kind of weird shit is
going to happen next. One minute, you’re
maybe hanging out on a giant, fancy cruise
ship, having the time of your life; mingling
with aristocrats, practicing your drawing
skills and casually hooking up with a young
Kate Winslet. The next, you’re desperately
fighting for your life, hanging on to…I don’t
know, a refrigerator door (?), as the freezing
North Atlantic tries it’s best to engulf you
forever.
One minute, you’re trying to cheer your-
self up by trawling YouTube for funny dog
videos. The next, you happen upon a trailer
for one of those direct-to-video talking dog
movies, and it's called ‘The Three Doga-
teers Save Christmas’, and just the still
looks so deliciously ridiculous that you can’t
resist spending three minutes on watch-
ing the thing, and then when it ends and
you’re casually glancing at the credits to see
whether that really was Dean Cain in the
trailer and not some rando who kinda looks
like a pudgy old Dean Cain, and you think
you spot some familiar names there so you
pause it and—what the hell? Did Orri Páll
Dýrason and Georg Hólm of the band Sigur
Rós actually produce a direct-to-video talk-
ing dog movie called the ‘Three Dogateers
Save Christmas’, starring Dean Cain
Huh?
Anyway, yes. It’s true. The rhythm sec-
tion of one of Iceland’s—nay, the world’s—
greatest ever rock bands had a hand in
producing a direct-to-video talking dog
movie that’s called ‘The Three Dogateers
Save Christmas’, starring former TV Super-
man Dean Cain. Such a film exists. It was
released in 2014, you can watch the trailer
on YouTube, and you can rent or buy it via
services like iTunes.
Even after watching that fucking trailer
thirty times, I was still doubtful. Maybe
that trailer was some sort of elaborate
prank played on the Sigur Rós’ rhythm sec-
tion by one of their friends, like that shady
Jónsi character.
Then, I ran into the handsome drummer
man, Orri, at a concert the other day. I gath-
ered my courage and straight up asked him:
“Hey, were you involved in making a talking
dog movie called ‘The Three Dogateers’?”
Orri’s eyes lit up, and he excitedly ex-
claimed: “Yes! Yes I did! With my friends!
It was the best investment I’ve ever made!
And I learned so much from it! We’re going
to make another one!” I congratulated him
on his success, and then asked if the film
was supposed to be some sort of secret, or if
he maybe wanted to give a short interview
on the subject. “Of course it’s not a secret,”
he said. “Call me later and I’ll tell you all
about it.”
VALUABLE
LESSONS FROM THE
DOGATEERS
A few days passed. After making sure it was
definitely later, I called up Orri, who pro-
ceeded to tell me all about his secret life as a
money-grubbing Hollywood producer.
How did your involvement in the Dogateer
franchise come about?
Well. We had just arrived to Los Angeles
from Hong Kong, to record a performance
for Jay Leno. I was really tired after a long
trip, but I knew my childhood friend Sin-
dri [Már Finnbogason, formerly of noted
Reykjavík indie-rock outfit Wool, currently
CEO & Founder of online ticket vendor Tix.
is] was in town, enjoying some time off be-
tween projects, so I called him up to see if
something fun was going on. He was liter-
ally poolside at the Beverly Hilton when
I reached him, leafing through a pile of
scripts, because he’d always wanted to in-
vest in a film.
I went to meet him by the pool, and we
hung out and browsed through the pile. It
was a mixed bag, mostly low-budget hor-
ror movies. We got really excited, however,
when we found a Christmas movie that had
talking dogs in it—‘The Three Dogateers
Save Christmas’! We immediately started
planning the production. Our dream was
to get Chevy Chase to star in it. You know,
a Christmas movie with Chevy Chase—it
can’t go wrong. When Chevy fell through,
we acquired the talents of Dean Cain, and…
the rest is history!
A few friends of ours also got involved in
the endeavour, like Goggi [Sigur Rós bass-
ist Georg Hólm]—us serious artist types all
banded together to produce a talking dog
movie. IT turned out to be a great invest-
ment, and it also taught me some very valu-
able lessons.
What are these lessons you speak of?
Being in the production team basically put
me at the other end of the table. We were
there as investors, with the clear aim of
making a profit off the endeavour. In order
to reach our goals, we had to ensure that the
production was very thrifty and cost-effec-
tive, you know, you have to be careful with
your budget if you want to make money.
We were very stringent, pinching pen-
nies at every opportunity. If you watch the
movie, you’ll notice that the dogs’ mouths
are sometimes obscured by strategically
placed Christmas tree branches when
they’re supposed to be talking—that’s be-
cause the budget for the animation soft-
ware stuff that makes it look like the dogs’
mouths are moving in synch with the voice
acting ran out, and we refused to raise it.
There was lots of stuff like that going on.
But, I mean. It’s a talking-dog movie!
VARIOUS CLIPS OF THE
DIRECTOR’S DAD’S DOGS
What were your groups’ motives for
producing a talking dog movie? Did you do
it just for fun—or is it maybe one of those
weird jokes you artist-types sometimes
like to make?
No. We were completely serious about the
production. It was an investment. We did it
to make some money. It’s not as if we place
any kind of meaning or importance in that
film. We didn’t foster any artistic ambi-
tions or anything like that. It’s a talking-dog
movie, you know. We just wanted to make
some money, and we worked hard to meet
our goal.
Did you attend the premiere?
Did it premiere? I don’t think it was pre-
miered anywhere. I don’t think our writer/
director, Jesse Baget… He’s made a bunch of
films, and I don’t think he’s ever screened
any of them at a movie theatre. He makes a
lot of direct-to-video stuff. Those dogs that
starred in the movie, the Dogateers, they’re
his dad’s dogs. I think the majority of the
movie was basically stitched together out of
various clips that he’s shot of his dad’s dogs
over the years.
Who is this man?
He’s a guy called Jesse Baget. I’ve never met
him.
Did the production take a long time
to complete? What was your role, as
producer?
It took a little less than a year to complete.
Our role was basically supplying the money,
funding the production. We did influence
the outcome a little… at one point we got ex-
cited about this ‘Back To The Future’ style
ending…. Anyway, it’s all about the finance.
Gaining that perspective was so healthy for
a guy like me, who has only ever sat at the
other end of the table. All of the sudden, I
could sort of understand record company
people. Those guys just want money, they
don’t mean anything by anything—they
don’t care about music—they just want to
make money. And that’s great, because we
need record companies that make money so
people like me can focus on making music.
Are you planning to finance any more
direct-to-video talking dog movies?
Yes! ‘Jurassic Bark’ is in the works! It will
star the same dogs, except one of them
passed away, may he rest in piece. The plot
sees the Dogateers embarking on a search
for the world’s biggest bone. It’s a dinosaur
bone.
Then, we’re planning to maybe make ‘Indi-
ana Bones’.
Would you recommend people see 'The
Three Dogateers Save Christmas'?
You can try, but it’s a horrible movie. I doubt
you’ll manage to finish it. I don’t think I did.
$IGUR RÓ$’ RHYTHM SECTION
ARE ONLY IN IT FOR THE
MONEY, WHEN IT COMES TO
FINANCING DIRECT-TO-VIDEO
TALKING DOG MOVIES
Orri Páll Dýrason opens up
about his secret life as a
Hollywood film producer
Interview by Haukur S. Magnússon