Reykjavík Grapevine - 16.06.2016, Page 68

L I F E , T R AV E L & E N T E R TA I N M E N T I N I C E L A N D
LAST
WORDS
Issue 8 × 2016
June 17 - June 30
www.grapevine.is
Making a generalization
about an entire population
is usually frowned upon.
It’s the tactic of dema-
gogues, racists and men
over the age of 55. There is
no such thing as “positive”
racism or “helpful” sex-
ism. However, there are
certain facts about popu-
lations that can be studied as systemic issues.
••• ••• ••• •••
I don’t think Americans, in general, have a
great thirst to commit gun violence, but they
are part of a system that propagates gun vio-
lence at a high rate. The smugness of Danes is
yet to be understood and, if it turns out to be
genetic, I will be the first to add that fact to
the list of things that science discovered.
••• ••• •••
On April 4, 2016, approximately 22,000 people
descended on the front door of the Icelan-
dic Parliament, the Alþingi, to protest some
banking thing from Central America. The
protest had one positive effect: It gave us a
chance to analyse about 7% of the population
at one time. I observed what I will from now
on call a fact.
••• •••
Icelanders can't throw. While protesters hurled
bananas and skyr at the front of Parliament,
nearly two-thirds of the attempts didn’t make
it onto the front of the building, roughly 20
metres away, or the distance that children
stand apart when playing catch. Not only that,
but the distance from the crowd to the poli-
ticians entering the parliament was roughly
45 metres. Not a single politician did a press
conference with even the smallest morsel of
banana on their person.
•••
This must be a systemic problem. Icelanders,
from what I have seen, appear to have nor-
mal arm length proportions. So what can we
do? Start a baseball league for children to help
combat this issue? Increase scholarships for
women who compete in shot put? No matter
what remedy we choose, the question is sim-
ple: In ten years, at the next protest, will the
groundskeeping at Parliament cost more or
less than the dry-cleaning bill of corrupt poli-
ticians?
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