Reykjavík Grapevine - 10.03.2017, Qupperneq 6

Inner Workings
ICELAND HAS A PECULIAR OBSES-
SION with Facebook groups. Think
about it: with a population of 320,000
it’s not unreasonable for a group like
“Vegan Ísland,” with 13,000 members,
to contain ALL of the vegans in Iceland.
Or for “TRAPLORD$$$” to have all the,
uh, Icelandic traplords too (3,000).
There is no Uber in Iceland, but the
Facebook group “Skutlarar!” (“Driv-
ers!”) proves that the desire for not-of-
ficially-taxi-but-taxi-esque transpor-
tation is innate regardless of location.
The group contains 33,000 Iceland-
ers and works like this: People with
cars post their phone numbers on the
page. Then, people who need to get
somewhere contact them. Folks can
also post their location and where they
want to go and vice versa. Simple, right?
The only downside of Skutlarar! is
that—since it is a Facebook group—
when you post on the page, it alerts
all your Facebook friends that are also
members. And in small towns, there
are no secrets. Let’s say you are in Kópa-
vogur early on a Sunday morning, stuck
after a one-night-stand, and you post
a plea to return home on Skutlarar! All
your friends will get a notification and
subsequently either think you are a total
P-I-M-P or make fun of you for sleeping
with someone from Kópavogur.
Pro-tip: People also post on Skut-
larar! offering alcohol deliveries dur-
ing the hours the liquor store is closed.
If you are planning on having a DOPE
afterparty but have no booze, this
might be your savior. Disclaimer: This
is illegal, but people at afterparties are
not known for making good decisions.
A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR, we see
news stories about a possible train
connecting Keflavík airport and Reyk-
javík. Sometimes this proposal in-
cludes another train line that would
circle the greater capital area. This
discussion has been going on for ten
or more years, and yet still: no trains.
Why? It can’t be because of earth-
quakes and volcanoes; Japan has the
fastest train in the world, and that
country is wracked with earthquakes
and volcanoes. It can’t be for lack of
money; we have hundreds of millions
to spare for the national church, and
we increase their budget every year.
And it sure isn’t for a lack of energy re-
sources. Could it be that we simply lack
the will to build a single train line con-
necting two towns half an hour apart?
The train is inarguably the best way
to travel over land. Consider for a mo-
ment all the movies, books and televi-
sion shows that take place on trains. In
all of them, the train is a setting of ro-
mance, mystery and intrigue. Imag-
ine combining that with green energy.
Sounds positively utopian, doesn’t it?
And yet over 50% of Reykjavík land use
is devoted to roads, and the number of
drivers is only going to keep increasing
with the number of tourists renting cars.
Our bus system is teetering on the edge of
incompetency.
What gives?
Icelanders
used to jok-
ingly mention
that we do, in
fact, have a
“train l ine.”
You can see it
down at Reykjavík harbour, sitting on
three metres of rail, going nowhere.
Mocking us. That little green engine
sits there as a daily reminder of yet
another missing thing in this coun-
try, that you can find in pretty much
any civilised country on the planet. If
there were any justice in this world,
we’d already have a train by now. Sad-
ly, trains will remain missing in Ice-
land until such time as we can muster
up the pluck to make them a reality.
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GPV.IS/FB1
Words
HANAH JANE
COHEN
Words
PAUL
FONTAINE
DIGITAL LIFE
PHYSICAL
LIFE
Trains
Djamm-
viskubit
Around Iceland in
80 Facebook Groups:
Skutlarar
What's missing is:
WORD OF THE ISSUE
The only train in Iceland, imported in 1913 to
ferry stones from a mine in Öskjuhlíð
to the harbour. The stones were
used as construction material
for the harbour.
Figures
Don't
Lie
51
The number of centimetres of
snow that fell on Reykjavík on
the night of February 25, setting
an all-time record for snowfall in
that month.
4
The average amount of
precipitation, in centimetres,
that falls in Reykjavík in
February.
100+
The number of people
subsequently injured in snow-
related accidents, most of them
from people slipping on
icy sidewalks.
7
The number of consecutive
winters so far that Reykjavík has
had any amount of snow worth
remarking on.
0
Number of deaths by “impaled
by falling icicle” that have been
reported in Reykjavík so
far this year..
DJAMMVISKUBIT IS A PORTMAN-
TEAU of “djamm” (“party”) and “sam-
viskubit” (“regret”). It refers to the
distinct feeling you get the morning
after you drank to excess, when you
wake up and realize that you made a
complete ass of yourself the night be-
fore. It’s sometimes related to unfor-
tunate sexual encounters while under
the influence, but not always; you can
experience djammviskubit for reasons
ranging from getting drunk enough to
start a raging barroom brawl, to your
karaoke rendition of “Total Eclipse of
the Heart” after one too many shots
of Ópal. Pretty much every Icelander
over the age of fifteen has experienced
djammviskubit at some point or anoth-
er, and it’s for this reason that djam-
mviskubit is the word of the issue.
“The train is
a setting of
romance,
mystery and
intrigue”
6 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 03 — 2017
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