65° - 01.07.1968, Blaðsíða 24

65° - 01.07.1968, Blaðsíða 24
vious. And this part needed only to take one step forward ,to take control of the other part and say, that’s enough, for he had seen all yesterday’s quarrels, and tomorrow’s, and knew how point- less they were. But the awful thing about it was that he didn’t do it. He just stood there, waiting — and listening. “It all went to repay the loan for the stone wall yesterday,” he said. “Didn’t we pay that last month?” “That was for the workmen’s pay.” “Can’t you get an advance on your salary?” She spoke about his constant begging errands to the cashier as if they were berry-picking trips that he went on for the sake of his health. “I’ve already taken an advance. Two, three advances. We live on advances.” “Do you honestly think we can have a meal of three courses without offering the guests an aperitif?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just won’t do it” — her voice was becoming excited — “I won’t hold this party unless we can have sherry before dinner.” “Well, don’t hold it then.” “I don’t remember you objecting before to a glass of sherry before the meal.” “We haven’t any money now.” “You don’t need to broadcast that fact as if it were a special piece of news. Aren’t we always without money?” “In that case I suppose we agree.” “You behave like this only because it’s the sewing club. Ever since we decided to have this party to show them the house .. “I really don’t know why you always think I don’t like the sewing club. Of course we should let them see the house. As it is, I hardly even buy a pair of underpants without showing them to the sewing club. And isn’t it just as they wanted it? A stone wall, hardwood ceiling, parquet floor, tiles and ...” She stared at him. “You should be ashamed of yourself. I thought we had both agreed about everything.” “Yes, of course. Have you ever heard me ob- ject?” He could see that she was about to break down. Her voice shaking, she said it was bad enough that the garden was as it was, all mud and dirt, and that there wasn’t even a mirror in the hall, and now this ... “I couldn’t really care less about the sherry,” she said helplessly, “it’s just that everyone ex- pects it.” She began to cry. At such moments he pulled himself together. He went up to her, stretched out his hand ... “We’ve done nothing but quarrel ever since we moved into this house,” she sobbed. He remained standing beside her without touch- ing her. He looked at her in silence, not finding any words that could bridge the gap between them. He could have said that they couldn’t afford to have the garden done or to buy a mirror as matters stood; that building the house had been too much for them financially. He could have said he wished with all his heart that they had never spent money on having stones brought from the mountains in the eastern fiords for building up a wall in the sitting-room. But it was no use. There the wall was, firm as a rock, like a cruel symbol of his folly — a badly placed pro- tection against the wind which could never pene- trate there anyway. But there it stood, and God only knew why. Was it solely bcause such stone walls were supposed to be a sign of good taste in new houses, a sign of wealth? No, there must be some other reason, there just had to be ... He was tired, dead tired. Maybe ... He touched the bare arm of his wife with his finger tips. Maybe he was incapable of finding any other sort of refuge. He stroked her arm, lightly and carefully. The skin was covered with fine, light hairs that tremb- led to his touch. His fingers played with these hairs. They liked the contact with her soft, naked flesh. He wanted to enjoy her, to forget the sad- ness in his heart, to find his soul, complete and undivided, through contact with her. But he knew from experience that this was neither the time nor the place anymore than now at this moment. Her white neck, bare shoulders showing above the black, low-cut dress, the bow of her apron like a flowered ornament low on her hips wakened his body to the memory of the morning’s longing. He stood helpless and a prisoner on the kitchen floor between his wife and the sherry bottle. “Aren’t you going to get dressed before the guests arrive?” she asked. * Within an hour all the guests were in the sitting- room. And the room was a credit to its owners. 22 65 DEGREES

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