Reykjavík Grapevine - feb. 2021, Blaðsíða 7

If you’ve been paying attention to our
fabulous and informative Gods of
Iceland series—and I do hope that you
have, ‘cos there will be a test—then you’ll
know that the Norse Gods are a pretty
licentious bunch. And most are indis-
criminate in the focus of their affec-
tions. Family members? Here’s looking
at you, Njörd. A lovely horse? For shame,
Loki, you shape-shifting scallywag.
But Heimdallur, our latest divine
example of Nordic naughtiness, is
known for always—quite literally—
having the horn. Oh, and for tricking us
mere mortals into kinky three-in-a-bed
romps.
Your name’s not down,
you’re not coming in
Heimdallur’s job is to guard Bifröst,
the burning rainbow bridge linking
Mi!gar!, (the realm of men), to Ásgar!,
(the home of the gods). To detect the
approach of any intruding monsters
or dwarves, Heimdallur is blessed with
razor-sharp eyesight and super-sensi-
tive hearing, which apparently enables
him to hear the wool growing on the
backs of sheep.
Heimdallur requires very little
sleep—handy when you’re a security
guard—and anyway, nodding off must
be difficult with the racket of distantly-
growing wool constantly in your ears.
Always close at hand is Heimdallur’s
horn, which he blows so loud when
raising the alarm that it is ''heard in all
worlds'', according to the Prose Edda.
At least Heimdallur’s resultant tinni-
tus will drown out the sound of those
damn woolly-backs.
Of course our hero has other god-
like qualities, like gold teeth (bling!), a
horse with a golden mane (bling bling!)
and some sort of skin condition that
renders him luminous. But perhaps
most interesting is his parentage. He is
said to have been born simultaneously
of nine mothers, who were all sisters.
Now we at the Grapevine have fertile
imaginations, but if you can talk us
through the logistics of that process,
please do. It sounds like the anxiety
dream of an overworked midwife.
Watch your wife,
homestead boy
We hate to stereotype, but to be
honest you’d be unwise to trust any of
the Icelandic gods; most of them are
best-described as being of fluid moral-
ity. Heimdallur’s contribution to this
reputation is to make a habit of visit-
ing earth, accepting the hospitality
of mortal couples and offering advice
in return. But the deal also involves
Heimdallur sleeping between man and
wife for not one, but three consecutive
nights. At the end of which–surprise!–
the wife will have fallen pregnant,
putting Heimdallur firmly into the
category of worst house-guest ever.
So if some glowing guy shows up at
your homestead atop a golden-maned
horse, blowing his horn and flashing
you his gleaming grill as he dispenses
unsolicited advice, it’s probably best
for your marriage if you don’t invite
him in for a goblet of mead. Trust us.
7 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 02— 2021
ALVIA
- Pistol Pony
Notoriously elegant
hoe, bubblegum bitch
and snow queen
Alvia Islandia is finally
here with her long-
awaited “Pistol Pony”.
The video, directed
by Logi Hilmarsson,
is a sexy, smooth,
kaleidoscopic UV
explosion. Basically,
imagine a glitter-
obsessed camgirl
in space who also
sometimes journeys
down to Earth to hang
with horses—that’s
the kind of vibe we’re
getting. The song,
produced by HiLvL
and Glacier Mafia, is
equally e$ortless.
A chill, somewhat
melancholic,
psychedelic track,
it’ll no doubt be
on repeat at every
(socially-distanced)
party in 2021. HJC

GusGus
- Stay The Ride
Just the existence
of a new track by
GusGus is a beautiful
thing, a statement
justified by the fact
that the track itself
is just as gorgeous.
“Stay The Ride” finds
Biggi and Daníel
confidently blending
beats and bending
genres into a warm,
deep, sparse whole.
Daniel’s vocals share
the space with those
of Vök’s Margrét
Rán on the track
that showcases the
quiet mastery of
musical cra% that
Biggi and Daníel have
developed over the
last quarter of a
century. JP

CeaseTone
- Continents
The light at the end of
the vaccinated tunnel
still feels so far away,
but “Continents” by
CeaseTone manages
to fill that little
melancholic hole
with a hint of levity
, a touch of blood
pumping beats and
a dream that though
things currently suck,
at least they can suck
accompanied by
cinematic harmonies
and sing-along
choruses. Basically,
imagine the song
that plays in an indie
movie post-breakup
and eviction where
the main character
begins to go from
sad to inspired and
“find themselves.”
It doesn’t help that
the chorus says “I
wish we could run
away.” Me fucking too,
CeaseTone. Give me
the vaccination. HJC

Countess Malaise
- EXCITING
Countess Malaise
o$ers a brutal
sarcastic song about
the excitement of
becoming a wifey.
The video, shot by
Countess and her
subjects, is equally as
stunning—if anyone
has proved that
lockdown should not
be an impediment to
creativity, it’s her. VG

RAKEL
- Our Favourite Line
So% emotional
soundscape pop with
some unexpected
tonal shi%s.
O%entimes it’s said
that it takes two
albums to get away
from your influences
and this is only
RAKEL’s second song.
That said, you get
the underlying sense
throughout “Our
Favourite Line” that
you’re listening to
someone that knows
how to surprise you
even in a genre that
feels totally overrun
by similar acts.
“Our Favourite Line”
doesn’t feel generic
and it feels like the
first step in a process
we can’t wait to
watch. HJC
GRAPEVINE
PLAYLIST
JUST SAYINGS
Have you ever predicted that you’d fall
in love with someone? Icelanders do it
all the time (to mixed results). ‘Spá í’ is
the rather modern saying that one uses
when they are thinking about doing
something. But it’s a little more compli-
cated than that. Spá í translates to ”To
predict something.” The 'í' is key here.
It’s the difference between predicting
you'll go to the shop, for example, or
prophesying that a shop exists some-
where in the world.
Now, you can also use ‘spá í’ when
you’re in to someone—hence the afore-
mentioned predictions of falling in love.
Then, it means like I like this guy/girl/
being and I want to see if this could
actually work out. In Icelandic, you’d
say: Ég er a! spá í hann (I’m thinking
of dating this man). So if you want to
sound like a native when you are hypo-
thetically crushing on someone, here
you go. Magic. VG
First
shop.grapevine.is
shop.grapevine.is
shop.grapevine.is
shop.grapevine.is*
shop.grapevine.isshop.grapevine.is
Get Grapevine Merch!
Don't Hesitate!
Act Now!
* You only need to type the URL in once
A love, written in the stars. Kind of.
“Spá í”
DEITIES OF
ICELAND
Superpowers:
Bionic eyesight and
hearing (anyone
else remember The
Six Million Dollar
Man?)
Weaknesses:
The wives of cuckold
mortals
Modern Analogue:
That asshole
bouncer with the
golden dental grill
who never lets you
into Club Asgard
Heimdallur
Ás'ar(ur’s security 'uard
Words:
John Pearson
Thou art not on the list mate, thou art not coming in