Reykjavík Grapevine - 19.06.2015, Qupperneq 30

30 The Reykjavík GrapevineIssue 8 — 2015LIFE
For those who, like me, are curious
about what these changes will mean,
the airport’s dedicated website (http://
betterairport.kefairport.is) helpfully
explains the concept behind the refur-
bishment: “Iceland is the antidote to an
overly defined world. Everywhere you
go, nature is ordered, routine prevails
and thoughts are rationalized. Yet Ice-
land is an island and people that will
never succumb to this taming. This is
truly enchanting.”
While this made very little sense to
me, I was still looking forward to the
finished product. But when I arrived
at the airport at 5:30am last week I
was met with levels of chaos and ca-
cophony never experienced during the
renovations.
After the duty-free store (through
which one is currently obliged to walk)
there is a large (and largely empty)
space. The seats that once filled the
area have all been removed. If I re-
member correctly, there was even
once a smattering of sofas—but these
too have all gone. I appreciate that at
the time of writing the refurbishment is
still in its final stages so I am keeping
my fingers crossed that the seats will
make a return.
For the time being, the only places
available to sit in the departure lounge
are located within the F&B area. (This
is shorthand for “Food and Beverage”
and since it is used quite liberally on
the website, it will be used quite lib-
erally here.) The website goes on to
proclaim that the renovations “will re-
sult a [sic] full range of products and
services.” This is not totally untrue.
Pre-renovation, there were a couple
of places for a coffee and a sandwich.
Now, however, the departing traveller
or tourist has a dizzying five options for
pre-flight snacking.
As well as an abundance of choice,
the website also promises that the area
will be “rigorously designed.” While
such phrases are rather empty, the
F&B area is certainly not. It is bursting
with design—perhaps even too much
design. Each of the F&B outlets are,
for example, enclosed by a wall, deco-
rated with the most dizzying of pat-
terns—the design of which looks like
a cross between a Magic Eye picture
and the upholstery in the VIP lounge
in an Eastern European nightclub circa
1989. The website promises that “the
harder you look, the more the space in
the departure lounge will reward you.”
The harder I looked, however, the sick-
er I felt.
Fastened to a few of these walls is
a small ledge, seemingly intended as a
bench, or at least that is what people
were using it for. It was obvious, how-
ever, that whoever designed it never
tried to sit on it since it was far too
narrow. I noticed an older gentleman,
perched on the ledge, clasping his
backpack on his lap, his legs braced
against the floor in order to prevent
him from falling off. Of course, had
he entered one of the F&B establish-
ments then he could have sat on an
actual chair. But a word of warning if
you do this: in quite a few places the
enormous lamps are hung far too low
over the tables so you do run the risk of
banging your head when you stand up.
(Presumably, having never sat down,
the designer never had to stand up and
therefore didn’t anticipate this danger.)
The website does promise a “richly
immersive environment” and it cer-
tainly delivers. For as well as the dizzy-
ing choice, dizzying wallpaper and po-
tentially dizzying low-hanging lamps,
there is a further hitherto unmentioned
sensory experience awaiting you in the
departure lounge. Taking pride of place
in the F&B area is everyone’s favourite
juice bar Joe and the Juice. Now I have
nothing against hip kids with hip hair-
cuts serving up hip smoothies, but the
hip beats they were blasting across the
entire F&B area at 5:30 in the morning
did seem a bit much. The intended de-
mographic was right at home: it almost
seemed as if they were hanging out at
the airport because it was too early for
the mall to be open.
And that is what the new departure
lounge feels like—a mall. The Portland-
based design team behind the trans-
formation state that they were aim-
ing to “[complement] the downtown
Reykjavík experience.” It would seem
that when (or indeed if) they visited
Iceland, they only made it as far as
the Kringlan mall. And by comparison,
Kringlan seems a lot better designed
than the departure lounge—at least it
has sofas.
Keflavík International Airport was
ranked the best airport in Europe last
year, by the Airports Council Interna-
tional. So good is the airport, in fact,
that some people don’t even want to
leave—as was the case with one wom-
an who reportedly lived at the airport
for a week. Her story raises three im-
portant questions: with so many F&B
options available, why did she only buy
a Coke and a banana every day? How
did the music from Joe and the Juice
not drive her insane? And given the
lack of chairs, did she spend the whole
week perching? Or maybe that is why
the powers that be have made the
place as uncomfortable as possible:
since there aren’t enough hotel beds
for everyone coming to Iceland, maybe
the old, cozier airport was proving too
tempting for bed-less backpackers?
Words and Photos Kevin Quigley
With tourist numbers on the rise in Iceland, the country is in a frenzy of construction
and refurbishments are taking place all over: hotels are being erected and restaurants
spruced up or even enlarged to cope with increased demand. Not to be outdone, Ke-
flavík International Airport is gearing up for the imminent onslaught with the redevel-
opment of its departure lounge. To the credit of those involved, the work has been car-
ried out quickly and relatively quietly, while both outbound and inbound passengers
have been given ample warning about the potential disruption caused by the project.
Have You Noticed The Mess
They Have Made Of The
Airport Renovations?
Don't Ask
Nanna
Dear Nanna,
I’m getting married in Iceland next
June and my fiancé and I are really
stoked. The wedding pictures alone
will be epic.
But last week a really close friend of
mine announced she’s getting married
the same month as me. Not in Iceland
mind you, but in June next year I mean.
I get that June is a really popular
month for weddings, but she’s known
I wanted to get married in June next
year (06. 06. 2016) forever and it just
seems a little inconsiderate.
Should I confront her with how I feel?
Best
Bride-to-Be
Dear Bride-to-be,
The nerve! To plan a wedding in
the same month that you and mil-
lions of other couples the world
over are planning their weddings?
I think you should punish that
presumptuous bitch with your
absence and not go to her wed-
ding. That way you can passive-
aggressively remind her that not
everything is about her and what
she wants.
Congratulations on your engage-
ment by the way, I have a good
feeling about you guys!
Nanna
Hi Nanna,
What’s the best place to party in Reyk-
javík this weekend?
Huge fan!
Animal
Dear Animal,
Why would I tell you? I don’t know
you.
Bye Felicia,
Nanna
Dear Nanna,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for five
years and we’re talking about mar-
riage, but I’m also kind of thinking
about breaking up. To be honest at this
point it’s probably the same amount of
work either way. What should I do?
Love-and-Marriage?
Dear Love-and-Marriage?
Have you thought about having a
baby? That seems like a healthy
compromise.
Best,
Nanna
By Nanna Árnadóttir