Reykjavík Grapevine - 06.05.2016, Blaðsíða 6

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Figures
Don't
Lie
Number of terms to
which current President
Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson
will have been elected if
he wins again
Iceland's current ranking
for longest-serving
non-royal heads of state
The President's
monthly salary
The number of people running
for President of Iceland (at the
time of this writing).
There's no
English word for:
The word of the issue is frek(ur).
This is a very useful word when
describing everyday behavior.
Frekur describes people who act
with a combination of pushi-
ness, stubbornness and obnox-
iousness. Often this is used to
describe bosses, teachers, or fel-
low motorists.
In a sentence: “Bílaumferð á
Íslandi er best lýst sem 'survival
of the frekast'.” (“Car traffic in
Iceland is best described as ‘sur-
vival of the frekast’”— an actual
quote from an Icelander.)
SHARE: gpv.is/frekur
frek(ur)
THIS
ISSUE'S
ISSUE
Puffin Shops
FOR
It seems there is nothing Iceland's
Marx-loving dirt-munching contingent
hate more than someone else's success.
This was the case when we put all our
eggs in the heavy industry basket; it was
the case when we put all our eggs in the
banking and finance basket; and it's the
case again as we put all our eggs in the
tourism basket. Nothing is good enough
for these people.
Here's the thing: people don't like
choices very much. Sure, you could in-
stitute some kind of Stalinist planned
economy where no two shops are ever
allowed to sell the same thing, but how
would that be good for the economy?
The invisible hand of the market is gen-
tly embracing Iceland once again, and
there is nothing tourism's critics would
love more than to snatch the country
from its grasp.
Everyone knows that all tourists in
Iceland want to buy the same things:
sweaters, cute little puffins, rocks made
into inexplicable jewelry, and anything
with the Icelandic flag stamped on it.
This is a scientific fact. That there are
hundreds of shops around the country
all selling these things isn't ominous;
it's progress.
Face facts, guys. Puffin shops are
good for Iceland, and good for tourists.
If puffin shops are so bad, how come
there's so many of them? Check MATE,
commies.
AGAINST
Puffin shops are slowly but surely re-
placing some special locally run busi-
nesses downtown that in some cases
have been cultural institutions for de-
cades. One entrepreneur after the other
seems ready to sell out our history for
quick cash. If this trend continues, we're
looking at not only a burst economic
bubble; we could be seeing the end of
Iceland as we know it.
As such, I propose we “pull a Bhu-
tan”—starting charging astronomi-
cal sums of money for a tourist visa to
Iceland, no matter where said tourist
comes from. You might counter that
this will shut out low-impact tourists in
favour of the kind of people who rent he-
licopters to fly to an active lava field and
dance to Duran Duran on Instagram.
But hear me out here.
Yes, charging, say, €5,000 for a single
tourist visa would slightly limit the abil-
ity for some people to visit Iceland. But
for every poshie who docks their yacht
at Reykjavík harbour, we'll be prevent-
ing hundreds of others who would only
come here to buy plastic Viking helmets
and take the exact same photo of Hall-
grímskirkja that everyone takes. Further,
rich people don't like to mingle with the
unwashed masses, so we commoners
would likely never even see them.
Puffin shops are a scourge, repre-
senting the worst impulses of petite
bourgeoisie tourism. We can put a stop
to it, though—with a hefty cover charge.
SHARE: gpv.is/puffinz
Photo: Jóhanna
Pétursdóttir
A woman
A woman wanders between pubs,
accepting drinks from men at the bar.
She thanks them for their contribution
to bridging the gender wage gap,
and says good-bye.
A POEM BY is curated by Grapevine’s
poetry liaison, Jón Örn Loðmfjörð
A Poem By
Eydís Blöndal
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 5 — 2016
6
12
17_th
6
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