Reykjavík Grapevine - 12.08.2016, Blaðsíða 6

Reykjavík Grapevine - 12.08.2016, Blaðsíða 6
FOR They say there are two seasons in Iceland: winter and summer. Spring and autumn are so brief, you’ll miss them if you blink. Winters are long and dark. The summer, really, is the only ideal time to be in Ice- land. How can Icelanders pop off to Majorca or the Canary Islands in the summer, I wonder? The right time to stay home is the summer; head south for the winter instead, I say. Not that anyone listens to me. In fact, I would argue there is no rea- son for anyone to be in this country dur- ing any other time of the year. The Icelandic summer is just the right temperature and, if the skies are with us, offers more than enough sunlight for ten summers elsewhere in the world. Iceland in the winter is, by contrast, dark, windy, wet and miserable. Why anyone would stick around to experience it is beyond me. If we were smart, all of us would go into exile six months of the year and leave the entire country vacant. Maybe let some NATO warships circle the country while we’re gone. When we return, our glittering emerald isle will be all ours again. AGAINST They say there are two seasons in Iceland: winter and summer. This is a bald-faced lie of Nixonian proportions. Rather, we have winter and winter-lite. Every May, we go through the same routine: speculation as to whether or not this time we’ll get a proper summer, which we never do. Weather forecasts of as little as two days in a row of non-rainy weather are enough to warrant front- page news. We hope and pray, week after week, that any day now summer will ar- rive. It never does. Nietzsche once said that “hope pro- longs the torments of man.” Like so many times before, Nietzsche was right. We need to let go of the idea that the Icelan- dic summer even exists, let alone is on its way. You might cite unequivocal data on global warming as a counterpoint. Thanks, but no thanks—I don’t intend to hang around here until 2050 to experi- ence real and factual summertime tem- peratures. We must stop teaching our children that there is summer in Iceland. There may be, in the astronomical sense that, like the rest of the Northern Hemisphere during these three months, Iceland is tilt- ed a little closer to the sun. But nothing resembling our objective understanding of summer ever happens in Iceland. Give up hope, Iceland. Summer is a lie. SHARE: gpv.is/fa12 www.bustravel.is info@bustravel.is +354 511 2600 Daily guided bus tours Golden Circle Tours Glacier Lagoon Southern Iceland Into the Glacier Figures Don't Lie WORD OF THE ISSUE: The word of the issue this issue is sko. This is a tricky one to translate directly. Some Icelanders use it to punctuate the end of a sentence, some use it to punctu- ate a phrase within a sentence. It’s less a word than a point of emphasis: you will frequently hear Icelanders pepper their speech with this word, in much the same manner that English speakers might use “like” or “so.” Used in a sentence: “Þeir fara sko ekki í þetta. Það er alveg á hreinu.” (“They are so not getting into this. That is quite clear.”) Sko POEM boys from america who like bukowski you keep asking for REAL ICELANDIC EXPERIENCE in the bars or on the roads or on a bender on Laugavegur but you never look in the gutter A Poem By Dísa Jónsdóttir The Reykjavík Grapevine Issue 12 — 2016 6 A POEM BY is curated by Grapevine’s poetry liaison, Jón Örn Loðmfjörð The number of passable roads going over the highlands The number of Pokéstops and Pokégyms in the highlands The Icelandic Summer FOR AND AGAINST 0 50% The number of campgrounds, mountain huts, and other forms of accommodation in the highlands. Rough estimate of how much of the country is comprised of the highlands Photo by ALISA KALYANOVA 53 3
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