Reykjavík Grapevine - sep. 2019, Blaðsíða 10

And then there were two. The
Premier League is one Viking
general light after Aron Gunnars-
son’s departure to Qatar, leaving
Everton’s Gylfi Sigurðsson and
Burnley’s Jóhann Berg Guðmunds-
son bearing the burden of English
omni-obliteration in 2019/20.
Needless to say, they are hungrier
and more bloodthirsty than ever
in their pursuit of a global Norse
theocracy to rule the lands, skies
and seas. Here’s what the deadly
duo got up to in phase one of this
year’s battle … plus a spiritual inter-
vention on behalf of one of their
fallen comrades.
Joí degrades unsaintly
Southampton in 3-0
smashing
Jó h a n n B e r g G uðm u n d s s o n
provided plenty of sauce for the
chip on his manager’s shoulder
as his Burnley team swept aside a
sorry Southampton at Turf Moor.
The scores were level until Ashley
Barnes’ 63rd minute opener sparked
a rare flurry of goals for the home
side. The Austria u20 international
doubled The Clarets’ lead just seven
minutes later before “The Bergin-
ator” capped off the victory with a
merciless finish past Saints keeper
Angus Gunn. After finding oppor-
tunities limited at the back end of
last term, the wing wizard took no
prisoners when staking his claim
for a regular starting berth in the
new season. Let’s all raise a glass
of mead to the pillaging to come.
Gylfi banks energy for
the great war
Infamous Iceland smitee Roy Hodg-
son took some steps towards repair-
ing his eviscerated reputation by
thwarting “Viking Virtuoso” Gylfi
Sigurðsson at Selhurst Park in a 0-0
bore draw. Though our boys’ main
man spurned a glaring opportunity
early on with an uncharacteristic
scuff wide from a Lucas Digne cross,
he is, of course, saving his best for
the business end of the season,
with Everton expected to challenge
the top six status of Chelsea and
Manchester United. In a worldwide
exclusive, the Norse Gods told the
Grapevine to expect a 30-yard Gylfi
rocket in the weeks to come. Make
of that what you will.
Óðinn smites Villa
after “Horror Hooves”
hatchet job
Tottenham channeled the fury of
Óðinn to smite Premier League
newcomers Aston Villa 3-1 on their
return to the big time, just days
after their sadistic release of Birkir
Bjarnason. The Villa faithful were
hopeful of taking at least a share
of the spoils back to Birmingham,
having taken the lead on nine
minutes through John McGinn.
But a Tanguy Ndombele thunder-
bolt and a late Harry Kane brace
ensured that Birkir was avenged in
the most brutal and bloody fashion.
The Iceland midfielder is now free to
find himself a new club, with former
club Pescara reportedly interested.
Follow our live-tweets on Euro
qualification matchdays on Twit-
ter at @rvkgrapevine. Iceland's
march to the Euro 2020 trophy
will continue throughout 2019.
VONARSTRÆTI 3
101 REYKJAVÍK
IDNORVK.IS
MATHÚS, VIÐBURÐIR, SKAPANDI VINNURÝMI
RESTAURANT, EVENTS, CREATIVE WORKSPACES
@IDNORVK
THE WATERSIDE TERRACE
AT IÐNÓ. ‘FOOD AND DRINKS
WITH A SPLASH OF SUNSHINE’
#IcelandSmites 10 The Reykjavík GrapevineIssue 14— 2019
#IcelandSmites:
Let the battle (re)
commence
Icelandic footballers poised to dominate the
2019-20 season all across Europe
Words: Greig Robertson
Illustration: Lóa Hlín Hjálmtýsdóttir
THE REAL THING
Overpaid
Footballers
...Or Are
They?

It turns out that our football gods
need more than glory and blood to
survive—apparently, they actually
need to get paid. Recently, the Ice-
landic players' association surveyed
all the players in the Pepsi League
about how much they were being
paid for their glorious battles on
the field. The footballers answers
have fueled such a stir that even the
one eyed Óðinn is forced to raise his
monocle to read the answers.
It appears footballers’ salaries
have not been this high since the
association started keeping track
of the warriors’ spoils. Around 30% of
players earn up to US$4,000 month-
ly, while up to 15% are paid around
US$8,000 per month. The controver-
sial numbers, though are that five
players claim they pocket US$10,000
per month and three said that they
take home a cool US$29,000 monthly.
This is significantly higher than in
2016 when the players answered the
last survey.
The league’s union argued that
the survey results were incorrect
and criticised the association for
publishing them at all. They said that
if these figures were correct, the
top paid footballers would have a
yearly salary of US$500,000 — a fig-
ure no football club in Iceland could
afford. In short, the union is claiming
that their warriors either lied in the
survey, or badly misunderstood the
question. Either way, may the gods
smite you all. VG
“They are
hungrier
and more
bloodthirsty
than ever in
their pursuit of
a global Norse
theocracy to
rule the lands,
skies and
seas.”
FOOTBALL