Akureyri - 30.04.2015, Blaðsíða 14

14 5. árgangur 16. tölublað 30. apríl 2015
THE ENGLISH CORNER WITH MICHAEL CLARKE
Domesday
We had trudged through the snow,
slopped through the mud, slipped
over the ice. Then all of a sudden
the sun was seen again, the sky
was blue and the
grass started to
go sort of green-
ish. The migrant
birds arrived and
the patio furni-
ture was brought
out, the barbeque
de-rusted, the
tyres changed
and there we
were ready for
another spring.
There had been
some Domesday
forecasts about
the Gulf Stream
slowing down
and the seas get-
ting colder, but
we dismissed
them as another Conspiracy The-
ory. Then it happened. The white
blanket descended and we were
plunged once more into winter.
My plane was cancelled and I had
to sit in the front of an ancient bus
balancing precariously on a won-
ky seat barely hanging onto the
road in gales across the moors and
we were back to drudge of winter.
Like children who have not been
invited to a party we enviously
click through Facebook selfies of
those of us who have managed to
escape to where spring actually
comes, with all their cherry blos-
som and strawberries and suntans.
We try to save the soggy thrush-
es outside with rai-
sins and butter, and
the scene instantly
turns into the set
of The Birds with
more angry beaks
than even Hitch-
cock could have
conjured up. Just
when we almost
thought that Liv-
ing in Iceland was
Not So Bad After
All we are back
in a Winter Won-
derland and you
know what you can
do with your skis
and your sleds! In
desperation you
look up the long-
term Weather forecast and there
is nothing ahead but frost, wind,
sleet and snow, as far as the eye
can see! It is like being handed
out a life sentence in Thailand.
There is nothing ahead but gloom.
Then, as if by magic, there is a
weather map with little suns all
over the place and double figures
for next Monday on Facebook. 1.
May. Now is the month of May-
ing, when merry lads are playing!
Somehow a week seems beara-
ble. That’s ok, you say to yourself,
give me chance to GET THINGS
DONE. You whistle a happy tune,
and off you go getting things neat
and shipshape. You have bought
the steaks for the grill, the beer
is in the fridge, your shorts have
been dragged from the back of the
cupboard, your sunspecs emerge
fairly unscratched at the bottom
of the draw under all the old bat-
teries and you had better check if
the suntan lotion is solidified or
not when it suddenly dawns on
you that 1. May is on Friday.
Sh*t!
F*ck.!
Bu*ger!
**************************
Someone has been having you
on.! You peek through your half-
closed fingers at the weather fore-
cast for Monday. It is dated 2011.
You trudge, slither, slop your
way out to the car, once more to
shovel it clear.. Your ice scraper
is indoors, put away in a fit of op-
timism, for “summer”. You put the
broken bits of your credit card that
you used to scrape the windows
back in you wallet and manage to
slip the clutch enough to make it
out of your drive without getting
stuck on your summer tyres. The
smell of the burning clutch follows
you all the way to the travel agent.
“One way please, anywhere.”
Someone has been
having you on.!
You peek through
your halfclosed
fingers at the
weather forecast
for Monday.
It is dated 2011.
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