Reykjavík Grapevine - 23.09.2016, Síða 64

L I F E , T R AV E L & E N T E R TA I N M E N T I N I C E L A N D
Issue 15 × 2016
Sept. 23 - Oct. 6
www.grapevine.is
Surviving Reykjavík
In Between Selfies
“Am I culturally appro-
priating if I buy this Vi-
king helmet?” you ask
your spouse in the most
authentic Puffin store on
Laugavegur. “Not unless
Wagner lives here, just look
around—the only way we
could appropriate Icelandic
culture is to not dress according to weather.
That’s why we need to keep these matching
anoraks on at all times.” As you cling to life in
the sideways rain on your way down Bankas-
træti a smiling Icelander in a t-shirt yells at
you, “If you don’t like the weather, just wait
fifteen minutes!” Asshole is merely jumping
between buildings, he doesn’t have to spend
the day outside in the freezing cold for the sole
reason that there’s nothing else to do. “This
place has wifi, I can upload my selfie from the
Blue Lagoon here,” you think to yourself as you
enter Hressó.
➘ ➚ ➘ ➚ ➘ ➚ ➘ ➚ ➘ ➚
You've just started to realise the scam that's going
on in this country. If there was a more accurate
way than emojis to express the weather on social
media there would be no tourists in Iceland.
Nevertheless here we are, and in two years when
Facebook will remind you that there was a time
in the past when you used to post something all
you'll remember is what appears in those photos.
Happy people in front of beautiful scenery. You
might even recommend Iceland to a coworker
at the water cooler. You're not going to store the
memories of being wet, cold and bored. No one
wants to admit they spent a fortune on a terrible
vacation.
➘ ➚ ➘ ➚ ➘ ➚ ➘ ➚ ➘ ➚
Fifty minutes later, your overpriced hamburger
is finally here. Yesterday’s whaling tour is being
discussed. You’re still trying out the angle for your
Facebook status: “you know guys, now that I actu-
ally know that whales exist, I’m even more against
whaling.” You register the nods around the table—a
great indicator for Likes—as you take the first bite
out of the hamburger. Are you being hypocritical
for choosing one mammal over another? No, it’s
the Icelanders that are wrong—it’s not like cows
developed singing.

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Jón Benediktsson
LAST
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