Hinsegin dagar í Reykjavík - 01.08.2000, Blaðsíða 10

away. They even became stronger. Stuff like wet dreams, you know.
A fewyearspassed until I did something about it. I was sixteen years
old when I met my first boyfriend, and soon after Ijoined Samtökin
'78, the gay and lesbian organization. You might say that they
helped me to deal with my parents. First I told my mother about it.
You see, I was always getting these mysterious letters in brown
envelopes and this raised some curiosity because I was such a
loner. When I had received countless envelopes my mother finally
asked me what in God's name was in them. So I opened one and
pulled out a newsletter from Samtökin '78! Her reactions were
mixed. She wasn 't angry with me or anything. She asked a lot of
cute naive questions like: "Does this have something to do with your
brain?" She didn't have a clue. I had to tell her
everything I knew about homosexuality. When
we had discussed the matter for a while, like
two grown-ups, she suddenly asked me to keep
quiet. No one was to know. So there I had it! She
wasjustgoing to push me and my lifestyle aside
so things could go about as before. That day I
truly think I became an anarchist. When I
started in high school I made sure that every-
body knew hat I was gay.
hen I had revealed my homosexuality to mom I didn 't see the
point of telling dad. So he had to find out for himself. At the
time I was working with young people in Samtökin '78 and a
reporter from the newspaper Þjóðviljinn wanted to get some inside
information about our role in the organization. So I decided to give
an interview. When my dad saw the paper he grabbed hold of every
copy he couldput his hands on and had them shredded. One might
say it was a nasty way for him to find out but I guess it was like a
small rebellion. Coming out is a rebellion, a minor miracle for
everyone who decides to take the step. Now a days I consider it a
privilege. Unlike straightpeople who take life for granted, gaypeople
have to ask themselves very critical questions: "Who am I? Why am I
doing this?" Coming out is a decision to step over a threshold. From
then on nothing will ever be the same. Straightpeople rarely have to
think about this threshold. It 's not untill they get divorced or experi-
ence something traumatic in their lifes that they finally find out that
such a threshold exists.
know that many people have been shocked by my honesty about
my sexual preference, like when I said on a TV-show that if I had
a boyfriend he ivould certainly not be my first lover. He would actu-
ally be number eight hundred and one. But if he wouldn 'tface the
facts it would be hisproblem, not mine. Now I wouldn’t want to
change my boyfriend into something he's not. That's not love. But
he can 't change me either. I've been having a lot of sex since I was
a teenager and I'm not thinking of changing
that old habit. Ijust think that sex is too great to
give it up. Sex is very important for me. I have
certain rules concerning both my sex life and
my relations with people that some people prob-
ably won 't agree on. Actually l'm not ready for
a relationship at the moment. I'm still working
on my emotional chart. Now I'mjust happy all
by myself. And by nature I'm a loner. But we
have a lot of propaganda saying that you have
to be in a relationship. Let's take literaturefor example. Literature
only teaches me how to WANT someone but nothing about how to
behave in a relationship. So Ijust say like Whitney Houston sings:
"I'd rather be alone than unhappy." And concerning my flamboy-
ant life style I don 't give a rats-ass what other people think ofme.I
learned that groiving up."
Paul Oscar is performing at Ingólfstorg Square,
Saturday August 12th.
His latest album "Deep Inside Paul Oscar" is currently in shops.
www pauloscar. com