Reykjavík Grapevine - mar. 2021, Side 26

You would think that a nation
that is both as obsessed with
literature and as seismically ac-
tive as Iceland would write a
lot of stories about volcanoes.
But that’s not actually the case.
Granted, there are some. The ex-
cellent story ‘Eldarnir: Ástarnir og
a!rar hamfarir’ focuses on the love
affair of a geologist on the brink of
a supervolcano going off not only
in Reykjanes, but also in her heart.
It’s better than it sounds, trust me.
But if you look at the grand
scheme of Icelandic literature,
we tend to write mostly about
the weather and, occasionally,
avalanches. Very rarely are volca-
noes mentioned. Even the writers
of the sagas were more obsessed
with nonsense gossip about the
chieftains rather than the roar-
ing volcanoes all around them.
Seriously, I’m surprised more
geologists don’t complain—re-
ally, who gives a S%&# about
King Haraldur’s hair? Seriously!
But in the current apocalyptic
atmosphere of Iceland, we decid-
ed to take some time to suggest
some possible novels that other
people (not us, we’re busy watch-
ing ‘The Crown’) could write.
Eyjafjallajökull
Let’s just get this out of the way.
Obviously you all know this vol-
cano, it’s the one that stopped air
traffic before COVID-19 even got
the idea. And truly, what a glori-
ous display of raw power it was.
Finally, Iceland proved that it, a
small rocky island in the middle of
the goddamn Atlantic ocean, could
stop the world for a second. It’s
the moment drama was made for.
And for sure there are some
movies about it, but no Icelandic
writer has yet to accept the chal-
lenge of writing about it. But lucky
for you, we’ve crafted a potential
plotline: Farmers have had their
world turned upside down by the
ash, which cues that classic Ice-
land rural depression rumination.
Then there’s a murder in the midst
of the chaos, and also lovers that
the natural disaster keeps apart,
but then they find a way to be to-
gether (maybe by stowing away on
a tugboat crossing the Atlantic?
Rowing?). The scenery around the
volcano at the beginning of the
eruption was downright nightmar-
ish, so throwing in a few hauntings
would be the icing on top. Because
who killed the farmer in the be-
ginning? A ghost. Or wait, not a
ghost, just the despondent mother
of one of the lovers covered in the
ashes of one of the lovers, who was
actually a ghost this entire time.
There you go—a love story that’ll
be as convoluted as Padmé and Ana-
kin but with the loving cynicism of
‘Lost In Translation’. Bestseller!
Heimaey
Ok, there are some books writ-
ten about the famous eruption
at Vestmannaeyjar’s Eldfell, as
this is by far the most dramatic
story of all. Around 5,000 people
woke to discover there was an
active volcano going off just a
couple of metres away from their
bedroom window. It’s nothing
less than an incredible achieve-
ment that sailors got the people
away from danger in only hours.
And what’s more—nobody died.
The fact that there isn’t some
sort of War and Peace-length
thriller about this is just insane.
Add in some sort of moral am-
biguity about saving one citizen
who had, I don’t know, murdered
their former lover and you’ve
got the telltale signs of a Nordic
Book Prize. For can one human
make the decision as to whether
or not another human is worthy
enough to be saved from a natu-
ral disaster? Do we have that
power? I don’t know. Ask Sartre.
Hekla
Possibly the weirdest volcano on
the list, but a good fit if you want
to do some weird fantasy with a
dash of realism. Hekla goes off
regularly and it’s not that threat-
ening for anyone other than
whichever poor sheep find them-
selves wandering in her hills.
But that mountain’s got a se-
cret: It’s (allegedly) the gateway to
hell. So perhaps write some sort
of weirdly uncomfortable locals
with noticeable physical and vo-
cal quirks, throw an outsider into
the mix, and wait for the moment
when the eruption starts and good
ole’ Jón the blacksmith mysteri-
ously whispers, “Oh that’s noth-
ing to worry about. The real de-
mons are inside the walls.” Then
there’s some sort of silent medi-
tation when the main character
realizes he’s stayed too long in the
town and therefore can only take
up farming and slowly fade into
the scenery. Yes, basically ‘Dune’
mixed with ‘Woman Of The Dunes’.
We never said we were creative.
Katla
This is the scary one. This is the
one that can take a town, eat it alive
in fifteen minutes, and worst of
all, stop air traffic. Located under
M"rdalsjökull, the heat alone from
this eruption would start a brutal
flash flood that could sweep Vík í
M"rdal away in a split second. In
fact, were it to blow, people would
have fifteen minutes to get their
loved ones into their cars just to
speed the hell away. Baltasar Kor-
mákus is currently making a Net-
flix series about the mountain,
but there are no books about this
incredible threat that Icelanders
live with every day. And what’s
more, this volcano is due to blow
and could go off anytime now.
Of course, a thriller would be
the natural choice, but that seems
kind of expected, yeah? So go crazy
and write a comedy. Perhaps a re-
telling of ‘Candide,’ but instead
of having your protagonist basi-
cally get fucked over at every op-
portunity, just have them totally
thrive in the wake of the eruption.
That’s right! Let’s bring back Leib-
nizian! No one (especially not
those from the Nordic literature
tradition) would see that coming!
It really writes itself, so for
just a moment, allow yourself
the fantasy of accepting your
Nobel Prize with the line: “Take
that Karl Ove Knausgård! No
struggles here!” Yay volcanoes!
Holuhraun/Bár#arbunga
This volcano was in such an iso-
lated place that it didn’t even have
a name. It didn’t even bother any-
one, just sat there roaring while
no one kind of noticed. Sounds
a little bit like a YouTube com-
menter who doesn’t believe in the
moon landing and is just there,
yelling alone online at bots, only
to later find out in the end, the
volcano stops, just like his life.
26The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 03— 2021Books
!"# KR. !"# KR.
SÆTA SVÍNI$ / Hafnarstræti 1-3 / Tel. 555 2900 / saetasvinid.is
ICELANDIC GASTROPUB
Holuhraun, a volcano that everyone ignores because it isn't dramatic enough
Top Five Volcanoes
Someone Should
Write A Book About
More literature about volcanoes, less about sad farmers
Words: Valur Grettisson & Hannah Jane Cohen Photo: Peter Hartree via Wikimedia Commons