Reykjavík Grapevine - 09.10.2009, Qupperneq 4

Sour grape of the month
A case of POLAR BEER for your thoughts.
We're not gonna lie to you: we really love us some beers. Some folks
would call it a problem, but beer never gave us any problems. In fact,
over the years, it's solved most of 'em. A frosty glass of cold, frothy,
bubblicious, golden-tinted beer has consistently failed to let us down.
In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson: "Mmm... Beer..."
Now, since we're real pleasant and giving folks here at the Grapevine,
we thought we'd share some of that wonderful POLAR BEER with
you, our readers. Henceforth, until the end of days (or our Polar Beer-
sponsorship program, whichever comes first), we will reward one
MOST EXCELLENT LETTER with a case of the Polar Beer. You read
right. A full case of beer. At your disposal.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
(light)
Say your piece, voice your opinion,
send your letters to
letters@grapevine.is
4
Letters
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Sour grapes
and stuff
WELCOME CARD2009 - 2010
48
INCLUDING CITY BUS TRANSPORT, FREE ADMISSIONS, DISCOUNTS OFF TOURS,
SHOPPING, AND SERVICES
AVAILABLE FOR 24, 48 AND 72 HOURS.
WELC
OME
CARD
WELCOME CARD
The Welcome Card can be purchased at:
City Hostel ı Hilton Hotel ı Loftleiðir Hotel
Saga Hotel ı Hlemmur Bus Station
BSI-Bus Station ı The National History Museum
Iceland Travel Market - Bankastræti
Tourist Information Centre - Aðalstræti
www.visitreykjavik.is
See more and save more
when visiting Reykjavík.
Free admissions, discounts off tours
and city buses, shopping, restaurants
and services for 24, 48 or 72 hours.
Great value for money.
THE OFFICIAL TOURIST INFORMATION CENTRE
Simply the most comprehensive
booking service in the City.
We specialize in customizing travel
packages to suit your interests and needs.
We can arrange your accommodation, transfers, tours, flights
and car rental, based on
your requirements.
Aðalstræti 2 • 101 Reykjavík • Tel +354 590 1550 • info@visitreykjavik.is • www.visitreykjavik.is
ÍS
L
E
N
S
K
A
S
IA
.I
S
H
B
S
4
69
17
0
8.
20
09
THE WORLD HAS IGNORED THE TRUE
GOD.THEY HAVE IGNORED JESUS
CHRIST.THEY HAVE CONTINUED DO-
ING EVIL IN THE SIGHT OF THEIR GOD.
GOD HAS NOW STIRRED HIMSELF TO
START A SYSTEMATIC AND UNPARAL-
LELED DESTRUCTION OF THE INHAB-
ITANTS OF THE WORLD.FROM NOW
ON THE WORLD WILL BE DESTROYED
BY:-

1.EARTHQUAKES. 2.FLOODS
3.GIGANTIC HAIL STORMS. 4.WARS
5.WILD ANIMALS. 6.OLD AND NEW
SICKNESSES. 7.FAMINE. 8.DROUGHT
9.POISONED AND/OR BLOODIED WA-
TER. 10.STRANGE CREATURES FROM
THE CORE OF THE EARTH. 11.FIRES.
12.STORMS. 13.FALLING STARS. 14.TOR-
TURE. 15.MURDERS AND OTHER
FORMS OF CRIME. 16.BLOOD. 17.E.T.C.
18.AFTER PHYSICAL DESTRUCTION,
THEY WILL BE CAST INTO HELL AND/
OR LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
WHERE THEY WILL BE BURNING FOR
EVER AND EVER
GOD IS THE CREATOR OF ALL.HIS
CREATION HAS REJECTED HIM.THEY
WILL NOW SUFFER THE CONSEQUENC-
ES
CHARLES MWANGI GACHICHIO &
RAHAB WANJIKU MWANGI
(THE 2 END-TIME PROPHETS,THE 2
WITNESSES OF REVELATION 11:3)
Dear Charles and Rahab,
thank you for your warning. It really sucks
that it has come to this, but we must admit;
we are sorta curious to see these ‘STRANGE
CREATURES FROM THE CORE OF THE
EARTH’ type things. Are they Morlocks?
Or in any way Morlock-like? That would be
so cool. HG Wells is truly your brother in
prophethood.
In any case, thanks for letting us know
about all this. It means we can prepare prop-
erly for damnation. I have already started
making a cool APOCALYPSE playlist. It has
Nas on it. And some Lemonheads.
Dear Grapevine
I am a proud westfjordian, currently living
in the capital of Iceland.
I, like normal people, like music, food, and
all that normal people stuff. Specially food,
in fact I like food so much I'd die for a home-
made hamburger. But that's not my point!
Let's not talk about me, but more about
my problem. I, along 5 friends went to In-
dian Mango last month, a little restaurant
downtown. One of them was celebrating
her 22 birthday. And therefore we decid-
ed to go to this resturant. We came there
just around 8 pm, got our menus and just
around 8:20 we ordered, nothing heavy that
would make the chef sweat!
And then we waited...
and a bit more...
And then a couple came in, ordered, they
waited for a few minutes and voilá! their
food came, they eat, payed and left.
as we waited... and just around 9:40 ish the
food finally came
The birthday-girl had seen a great part
of her birthday go down the drain waiting
for food, well, if that's not fun, I don't know
what!
And the only thing that the restaurant
did to say: "we're sorry, sorry for ruining
your birthday" was 10% discount(not of
drinks, like beers and redwine to celebrate
birthdays) and free coffey.
Well, I can say for sure that neither I,
or my friends are ever going there again, I
could understand this if there was crowdy in
there, but no. The truth is that there were
us, and two other tabels.
And I hope that you will publish this, but
if not...atleast it's off my chest!
EVJ
Dear Evj,
jeez. You went to a restaurant and had to
wait for an hour for your food. Did you read
that imaginary kid letter? That kid is COLD.
Compared to him, your plight really doesn’t
sound that bad.
Also, you guys must be some seriously
boring people, since sitting together at a ta-
ble for an hour and twenty minutes – WITH
ALCOHOL – was so goddamn awful.
But yeah, we feel your pain. Things often
don’t go as one would wish them to. But you
should cut the restaurant a little slack. Some-
times things just go wrong. I agree that a
better discount would have been in order,
since you clearly asked for it, but not every-
one is a diplomat. Oh I don’t know. I hope
you find a group of more exciting friends, if
nothing else.
(by the way, Evj doesn’t sound like a par-
ticularly ‘Westfjordian’ name. At least in
my neck of the fjords we’ve not heard of any
Evjs. Are you sure you’re from there?)
Dear nameless fictional melodramatic kid,
we appreciate your letter, as it brings attention to the plight of fictional melodra-
matic children all over Iceland. Possibly some real ones, too, although we do hope
that’s not the case. Things are grim and all, but “fix everything for us before it gets
too cold?” Sheesh. That’s pretty over the top. Are you eating coal for breakfast yet?
Anyway, here’s to you, kid, your drama and your ‘kid scrawl font’ letter. You can
have that case of beer. It will keep you warm until Ms. Joly fixes everything. Beer
always helps.
And if things ever get so bad that we start seeing real versions of this letter, we
will do our best to bring beer to all the cold children in Iceland. That’s a promise.
PS – If you’re reading this, Joly, we really wouldn’t mind you fixing everything, fake
kid or not. You can have the fake kid’s beer if you do.