Reykjavík Grapevine - 06.01.2017, Page 64

L I F E , T R AV E L & E N T E R TA I N M E N T I N I C E L A N D
Issue 01 × 2017
Jan. 5 - Feb. 2
www.grapevine.is
Thank you for
coming
By VALGEIR VALDIMARSSON
Dear tourists,
Thank you for coming. You’re really shaking
things up around here.
Watching you pour out of our planes, we
can’t quite believe our eyes. Our streets, once so
desolate and gray, are now alive and resplendent
with your colorful outdoor gear. You grease the
wheels of our commerce and industry, with
hotels popping out of the ground all over the
place, and old bookshops metamorphosing into
“concept stores” just in the nick of time.
Everywhere we look, you’re there! Showering
naked and embarrassed at our local swimming
pools, listening to us talk about the band we’re
in while we prepare your third-wave coffee,
asking us about hidden people over interest-
ingly priced drinks at our bars, being swept
back and forth on our Tinders, and waking up
in our beds. It’s really quite something.
And you have all sorts of interesting ideas
about this place. “Elves?” you say. “Sure!” we
say. “Dirty weekend?” you say. “How dare you!”
we say. “Björk?” you say. “Used to live on my
street!” we say.
You’ve really given us quite the ego boost.
These days there’s not a single dodgy guest-
house owner who doesn’t think he’s a business
genius. The agency that came up with that tour-
ist slogan a few years ago is quite pleased with
itself. Even our government thinks you’re here
because of them. Everybody’s happy!
But enough about us — let’s talk about you.
Why are you here? (We never tire of asking you
that.) Mostly it seems to be about having an
experience. That and the fact that the place
seems to Instagram well. Nothing wrong with
that. Let a thousand flowers bloom.
Mind you, we’ve noticed you’re a bit dif-
ferent these days. You used to be much rarer.
And you used to complain a fair bit about the
whale hunting. Now there’s more of you, and
you mostly want to know which place has the
best whale meat. Funny how things change.
We’ve changed too, to be honest. It’s not like
you haven’t noticed. “It used to be much better
here before there were so many of us,” we’ve
overheard you say. “I came here before it sold
out,” we’ve heard, too. We know. We’re embar-
rassed to admit it, but we’re kind of mainstream
now. In fact, we’ve become so mainstream that
it crossed your mind that you should probably
have gone to the Faroe Islands instead.
Maybe next time.
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