Reykjavík Grapevine - 09.11.2018, Side 10

Iceland’s indomitable footballers
are spread across Europe—nay,
THE WORLD—currently, plying
their merciless mercenary trade
for unimaginable spoils at clubs
like Everton, Augsberg and
Cardiff City. The shockwaves
of their warlike talents radiate
out from their every long throw,
tumultuous tackle and glorious
goal; their presence in a squad
can make or break their oppo-
nents’ psyches, chances and
bones. Here’s what’s been going
down:
Aron returns, inspires
Cardiff win
Aron Gunnarsson, Iceland
captain and Cardiff City ’s
totemic midfield general
a n d l on ge s t - s er v i n g
player, returned to the
battlefield in late Octo-
ber. His beard flowing
in the wild Welsh wind
and with a knowing gleam in his
eye, Aron’s presence boosted the
beleaguered Bluebirds, who had
only two point and no wins from
their first eight Premier League
games. When he wasn’t breaking
up play with crucial tackles and
moving the
ball forward
f o r p i e r c -
ing attacks,
Aron helped
Cardiff keep
their shape,
a d d i n g a
n o t i c e a b l e
s e n s e o f
a s s u r a n c e .
He came off
in the 75th minute after start-
ing the move for the third goal;
it ended 4-2, with Aron underlin-
ing his importance as the essen-
tial fulcrum of Cardiff City’s
midfield.
Gylfi smites Mourinho
Everton and Iceland talisman and
wing’d messenger of the old gods Gylfi
Sigurðsson was found taking care of
business last weekend against José
Mourinho’s stuttering Manchester
United. When Richarlison was desper-
ately hacked down in the Man Utd box,
the penalty was awarded instantly;
Richarlison tried to take the ball, but
was informed by Gylfi in no uncertain
terms that “Golden Boots” would be
taking it himself. He arrowed home past
David De Gea—commonly thought to be
the world’s best goalkeeper—without
flinching. The Premier League was thus
rocked once again by the volcanic might
of Icelandic football, and Gylfi became
only the second player—after Darren
Bent, weirdly—to score at Old Trafford
in four separate matches.
Finnbó wildfire spreads
Icelandic hitman striker Alfreð Finn-
bogason—the decimator of castles, the
moat-crosser, the drawbridge destroyer;
the ultimate striking champion of the
world; he who wrestles wolves before
breakfast; the horrible hulk, the merci-
less marauder; the rampaging warlord
who sails forth across the open sea
screaming wildly at lightning-riddled
stormy sky—smashed in yet another pen
for German side Augsburg last week. He
has now scored five goals in four Bundes-
liga outings this season and has hit home
all six penalties he’s taken for the side. Be
afraid—if football loses his attention, he
may his eagle-eyed gaze to other sports,
or, god help us all, outvasion pillaging;
then, we will find ourselves living under
his heel as he rampages across the globe
like an Icelandic Alexander The Great,
burning everything in his terrible wake.
Belgian revenge waffles
best served icy
Iceland are warming up to wreak havoc
and claim their terrible revenge against
the star-studded Belgian team who
kicked three colours
o f c r a p o u t o f
them in a 1-3 UEFA
N a t i o n s L e a g u e
defeat earlier in
the autumn. With
danger man Eden
Hazard currently
s t r u g g l i n g w i t h
injury at Chelsea,
and star striker
R o m e l u L u k a k u
struggling to find the groove at Manches-
ter United, it could be a good time to play
them; especially as captain and morale
mainstay Aron Gunnarsson; attack-
ing trio Jóhann Berg, Gylfi Sigurðsson
and Alfreð Finnbogason are all in fine
and firing form at their home clubs.
It’s Iceland’s last chance to grab some
consolation points in the tournament, as
we’re already relegated to the second tier
after a weird, injury-hampered run in
the tournament. The game takes place in
brussels on November 15th. The world—
and the gods—will be watching.
GR
Follow our live-tweets on matchdays
on Twitter at @rvkgrapevine. Iceland
play Belgium on November 15th,
when Iceland will show those waffle-
gobblers the true meaning of defeat.
#IcelandSmites
“The Premier
League was thus
rocked once again
by the volcanic
might of Icelandic
football.”
Goodness
Gracious
Great Balls
Of Smite
Icelandic players are taking care
of business overseas regardless
FOOTBALL
Words:
John Rogers &
Greig
Robertsson
Illustration:
Lóa Hlín
Hjálmtýsdóttir
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