Leyfi til að elska - jan. 2023, Side 16

Review
Losses experienced by children alienated from a
parent
Jennifer J. Harman1, Mandy L. Matthewson2 and
Amy J. L. Baker3
Abstract
Parental alienation occurs when a child aligns with one parent
and unjustifiably rejects the other as a result of parental
alienating behaviors. This article provides an overview of cur-
rent research and theory regarding the losses alienated chil-
dren endure. Parental alienating behaviors alter the child’s
beliefs, perceptions, and memories of the alienated parent,
triggering a cascade of profound losses for the child. These
losses include loss of individual self, childhood experiences,
extended family, community, and activities and relationships
essential for healthy development. Consequently, alienated
children often experience ongoing and ambiguous losses and
thereby suffer disenfranchised grief in isolation.
Addresses
1 Colorado State University, Department of Psychology, 219 Behavioral
Sciences Building, Fort Collins, CO, 80523-1876, USA
2 University of Tasmania, Australia
3 Private Practice, PO Box 505, Teaneck, NJ, 07666, USA
Corresponding author: Harman, Jennifer J (Jennifer.Harman@
ColoState.edu)
Current Opinion in Psychology 2022, 43:7–12
This review comes from a themed issue on Separation, Social
Isola-tion, and Loss
Edited by Gery C. Karantzas and Jeffry A. Simpson
For a complete overview see the Issue and the Editorial
Available online 25 May 2021
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2021.05.002
2352-250X/© 2021 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.
Keywords
Parental alienation, Parental alienating behaviors, Grief, Loss, Isolation.
Introduction
Being alienated from my mum affected every aspect of my life.
I’ve experienced the grief of many losses. I lost my mum. I lost
contact with my mum’s side of the family. My dad moved me
interstate and overseas, so I lost everything familiar. I felt I
had no direction. I couldn’t see myself in the future and I didn’t
know where I fitted into this world.I had ongoing emotional
pain, not knowing where it was coming from.[I later lost] my
mum to suicide, then later in life I was alienated from my own
children. The most difficult part was no one around me un-
derstood what I was going through.
Amanda Sillars (personal communication, April 8, 2021)
Parental alienation (PA) is a family dynamic in which a
child aligns with one parent (the alienating parent) and
unjustifiably rejects the other (the alienated parent)
[1]. As illustrated in the opening quote, alienated chil-
dren experience significant losses across many areas of
their life. Exposure to parental alienation behaviors
(PABs) and subsequent losses are associated with a host
of negative outcomes for children that last well into
adulthood [2], including low self-esteem, difficulties
trusting others and becoming self-sufficient, substance
abuse issues, depression, and anxiety [3].
Over three decades of scientific evidence has docu-
mented factors and outcomes associated with PA, lead-
ing to a “blossoming” of this field of study [4]. While PA
profoundly and negatively affects members of the entire
family system [5], this review focuses specifically on
theory and research related to the losses that children
experience. Several theoretical frameworks will be
offered as relevant for understanding how PABs result in
these losses.
Parental alienation versus estrangement
PA is different than estrangement, which refers to a
child’s justified rejection of a parent (due to maltreat-
ment or significantly deficient parenting). Estrange-
ment is actually uncommon because even children who
have been abused by a parent tend to engage in
attachment-enhancing behaviors (e.g., proximity
seeking) rather than attachment-destructive behaviors
(e.g., rejection) [6]. Thus, an alienated child’s rejection
of the alienated parent (absent a legitimate reason) is
inconsistent with the innate need for children to
maintain relationships with their caregivers [7].
Parental alienating behaviors
The number and frequency of PABs (e.g., badmouthing,
gatekeeping) create distance and conflict in the child’s
relationship with the other parent and are associated
with greater degrees of a child’s rejection of that parent
[8e10,12]. Research examining these connections
Available online at www.sciencedirect.com
ScienceDirect
www.sciencedirect.com Current Opinion in Psychology 2022, 43:7–12