Reykjavík Grapevine - 10.04.2015, Page 53

Breakfast
Brunch
Lunch
Happy Hour
Dinner
K-Bar is a gastro pub with a Korean, Japa-
nese, Icelandic inspired kitchen and quirky
cocktails. We have eight icelandic craft
beers on tap and over 100 types in bottles.
Open all day from breakfast to late night
snacks. K-Bar is located at Laugavegur 74.
Ask your reception how to find us or find us
on facebook.com/kbarreykjavik
FOOD
FOR THE SOUL
Without further ado, here’s a pedantic
prick’s guide to getting it all right.
The place
The perfect gastropub should take a
real pub, with real history, exfoliate,
slap on a nosejob and set up a basic
kitchen. Now, Iceland isn’t crawling in
authentic real pubs because our drink-
ing tradition is the worst, but please
try to make do with what we have. If
you’re spending more than 10 million
ISK on new interiors, you’re prob-
ably on the wrong track. Don’t let the
charm of the old slip from your fin-
gers like it did when you dumped my
granddad (at least text him, ok?).
Chalkboards. Do you text your
friends via carrier pigeons? Did you
ride a penny farthing to work today?
Actually, don’t answer those questions,
because you probably did. The black-
board’s charm is wearing thin and
modern technology has dramatically
outstripped its most impressive fea-
tures, such as retarding the slippage of
white minerals from a wooden board.
Speaking of retarded slippage,
no one really needs another gastro-
pub with a pig in the logo. But if you
already named the place “The Be-
wildered Hog” or something, try rip-
ping off the Bónus logo, that pig looks
drunk anyway.
A little artificial aging is to be ex-
pected but please restrain yourself
before you start serving the food in
pigskin pouches and etching the menu
into a cave wall.
The menu
Locate and employ a trendy, yet macho,
chef-type. Keep the menu brief and to
the point. As long as you offer more than
a single item menu, you should qualify as
a gastropub. A four-page menu has you
slipping into diner territory. And for St.
John’s sake, please try to keep the dishes
under 3,000 ISK unless you’re planning
on permanently revolutionizing the way
we eat, like, I don’t know, catapulting live
pheasants directly into our gaping mouths
or something. In which case, sign me up.
The staff
Good news! You don’t need to wait the
tables. This is especially fortunate since
Icelandic service never elevated above a
Morse code of grunts and farts. At a gas-
tropub, the customers should order, pick
up and pay at the bar, leaving your tattooed
charmers free to flirt, berate, and regale
the customers. You’ll want snooty, but you
want hipster snooty, not Regina of ‘Mean
Girls’ snooty. And they should know their
beers or know how to make me look good
as we both fake our way through a conver-
sation about beer.
The atmosphere
Be a shameless populist, but make it your
own. Be as weird or as boring as you
please, but personalise it. And keep it loud
and lively. Your Scandinavian genes will
tell you to conform and be quiet. Rip those
genes out and stomp on them with your
mighty Scandinavian feet.
The ingredients
Serving hearty food made on the spot and
with real ingredients is the name of the
game. It doesn’t have to be all local, but it
helps. It doesn’t have to be nose-to-tail,
but it it’s probably cheaper. It definitely
doesn’t have to be organic, because I need
to be able to afford to eat there.
The gastro
Modern gastropubs have built up a tra-
dition of embracing odd ingredients, so
as long as you keep in mind that this is
meant to be comfort food accompanied by
a full-flavoured craft ale, then you’re free
to roam. So go ahead and serve your fish
scale cocktail, stuffed sperm whale, edible
sea snail, frail quail, and curried kale. And
don’t forget the deceptively simple burger
with some finicky special touches.
You know how hipsters and grand-
dads are king of merging into a bearded
Voltron? The superiority of vinyl, hunting
coats, pipes, casual misogyny, etc. That’s
the culinary sweet spot, you want a meal
that’s equal parts granddad food and
trendy ingredients.
The pub
It should have a nice selection of craft
beers, moderate prices. Wine is fine, but it
shouldn’t feature too heavily. I want some
proper Trappist beer, a solid IPA and a
toasty porter. Take it easy on dry-hopping
and sours.
That’s it! You now know all you need to
ride into the sunset on your spotted swine.
The advent of the gastropub began at that revolutionary moment when an enterprising Brit
thought to combine the words “pub” (British for “bar”) and “gastro” (from the Ancient Greek
for “stomach”) and serve food in bars. The first of its kind is normally considered to be The
Eagle in Clerkenwell, London, which introduced the concept in 1991. Then St. John gaped
open the horizons with bone marrow and random nasty bits back in 1994, and in the noughts
hip America collectively lost its mind over the concept following the Manhattan opening of
The Spotted Pig. At present, gastropub chains stretch across the UK and finding a bar that
doesn’t serve food has become a rare treat, sapping everyone’s tolerance for gastropubs. But
don’t let that that deter you because they’re still a relatively new thing in Iceland!
Words Ragnar Egilsson
Illustration Lóa Hjálmtýsdóttir
So You Decided To
Open A Gastropub!