Reykjavík Grapevine - 13.08.2010, Blaðsíða 4

Say your piece, voice your opinion,
send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
4
Letters
Sour grapes
and stuff
(Light)
MOST AWESOME LETTER
A buncha POLAR BEER for your thoughts
We're not gonna lie to you: we really love us some beers. Some folks would
call it a problem, but beer never gave us any problems. In fact, over the years,
it's solved most of 'em. A frosty glass of cold, frothy, bubblicious, golden-
tinted beer has consistently failed to let us down. In the immortal words of the
once-reputable Homer J. Simpson: "Mmm... Beer..."
Now, since we're real pleasant and giving folks here at the Grapevine, we
thought we'd share some wonderful POLAR BEER with you, our readers.
Not only that, you're also getting the gift of social life with it. So here's the
deal: our most awesome letter of each issue (henceforth, or until the good
people of POLAR BEER decide they don't want to play along anymore),
we will be providing our MOST AWESOME LETTER scribe with twelve frothy
POLAR BEERS, to be imbibed at a Reykjavík bar of their choice (so long as
that bar is either Bakkus or Venue). If y'all's letter is the one, drop us a line to
collect. Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Dear Mammút,
Thank you for your postcard! It’s great to hear
your tour is going well (or was when you sent
it, in any case – who knows what happened af-
terwards), and it’s great you sold out all your
merch. Goddamn, you kids make us proud.
Go have some free beers at Bakkus to celebrate
when y’all get back, aight?
Good morning Haukur,
I'm submitting the following to the Inspired
by Island competition, and I thought you
might enjoy reading it and maybe even pub-
lishing part of it. The Grapevine, after all,
was also very much part of my Iceland, and I
was very impressed by the quality, the energy
and the stimulating eccentricity of your paper.
Thank you for that.
Andre
My Iceland? You want my Iceland? Very
well, but I warn you that if I give you my Ice-
land you will not get your Iceland back again.
My Iceland, after all, is filtered partly through
Olaf Olafson, and just as his dreams become
part of memory so my reality will become part
of yours.
My Iceland is compounded of Arnaldur
Indridason, Louis MacNeice, W. H. Auden,
Mr. Bjarnfreðarson, Andri Snaer Magnason,
and Halldor Laxness, remembering always
that Laxness is not just the grimly optimistic
Halldor Laxness of Independent People...
[goes on for approximately 45.000 more
words…]
Dear Andre,
Wow! You really were inspired by Iceland,
huh! That was a Russian novel you sent us.
Thanks, man. Unfortunately we couldn’t print
the whole thing… OK, who are we kidding.
We couldn’t even read the whole thing! Sorry.
It’s just been really busy around here. And it
is SUPER LONG. But it’s cool that you wrote
it nonetheless. And thank you for your kind
words, too. <3
Hello,
I wondered if it is possible to post out a copy
of The Reykjavik Grapevine, Issue 11 to us in
England?
My daughter is a huge Bjork fan and
would love to have a copy if it was at all pos-
sible, I would be happy to pay postage costs
etc.
Thanks
Karen Ellis
Dear Karen,
But of course we can! We’d be glad to. Did you
know you can even subscribe to the Grapevine
for dirt cheap? No fooling! It’s all there on our
website. Or on page two of this very issue.
Cool, huh?
Dear editor,
As an Israeli living in Iceland, I felt compelled
writing you after reading the interview with
the Palestinian author. Though she was cor-
rect on few points, there are still many mis-
conception that are widely accepted among
many people (among them many Icelanders)
that I would like to clear up.
Give me the opportunity to clear some of
them up for you and your readers. I offer you
an exclusive interview for on the subject for
the point a view rarely given stage on the local
newspapers. Hopefully, that will shed little bit
light on this controversial issue.
Med kvedju,
Guy Gutraiman
Dear Guy,
thank you for your letter. It’s good to hear “the
Palestinian author” got some things right
when we interviewed her, and it’s even bet-
ter that some Israeli that moved to Iceland is
kindly willing to allow us to interview him to
clear up some of her misconceptions.
You should just write us an article and
clear these ‘misconceptions’ up for yourself,
though. We print pretty much anything folks
send us (so long as it doesn’t suck all over the
place, and it isn’t too long).
Anyway, what is it with all these folks writ-
ing in all the time asking to be interviewed?
What’s that all about? Should we just start
interviewing everyone that has an opinion or
something he or she wants to promote? Do
other magazines do that? How come no one
ever interviews us? We have lots of views and
opinions and shit we’d like to promote.
In fact, Guy, you should interview us. We
read your blog (www.9uy.info), and while it got
some things right (well, a couple), you seem
to foster a bunch of misconceptions that we
would be happy to clear up for you and your
readers. We offer you an exclusive interview
on how you are totally wrong about a lot of
things. Free of charge.
PS – sorry for the snarky tone of that reply. It’s
cool that you read us, and that you are opin-
ionated, and we really do urge you to write
them down so we can publish them (and then,
if anyone disagrees, they can write in to ‘cor-
rect’ you. FREE EXCHANGE OF IDEAS IS
SO LOVELY). But you gotta admit, your letter
was kinda douchey and sorta begged for some
snark.
HI!
I decided to write here, because i am worried!
When did Icelanders start cheating so
much?
I thought that people here are nice and hon-
est, but guess they are not.
Is it because i´m foreigner, that you think
it is ok to cheat me?
I am not so rich that i can afford to all that
crap you guys are selling me.
Stop that! Stop cheating and acting like
gypsies!
You are not gypsies, you are icelanders.
Peace loving honest people!
Stop fucking cheating me!
Susanna Omori
Dear Susanna,
What did we cheat you on? Or did we per-
haps cheat on you? Who knows! We never
fully committed to this relationship in the first
place, it was a summer fling. It was a fling!
You knew that! You knew! You were the one
who suggested an ‘open relationship’ (and my
how well that worked out for everyone).
Also, who are you to call us ‘nice’ and
‘honest’? Where the hell have you been? And
WTF is with your goddamn racism? That is
extremely uncool. In fact, your ‘gypsy’ remark
sorta wants us to cheat you out of your money,
and hope others do, too. Stop fucking being a
racist! Stop it! Is it because we have almost no
foreigners in Iceland that you think it’s OK to
be all racist all over our pages. You are not a
racist, you are a probably a Finn. An alcoholic,
pessimistic, suicidal sauna-lover.
Stop being a goddamn whinypants racist! Stop
stereotyping folks! STOP IT