Fróðskaparrit - 01.01.2006, Page 57

EINAFERÐ VÓRU MENN
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trarily, claim that frustrating old-fashioned
masculine ideals, forcing suppresive male
homogeneity into effect, are hindering them
to live free lives and boycott this brutal
regime by voluntary resignation. They feel
stigmatised and powerless, a negative
process that accelerates when lonestars lose
their position in the labour market, educa-
tional institutions and among peers, ending
'solated without economic revenues or vital
social networks. Lonestars are mute men de-
pendent on relatives’ charity. Is the lones-
tar’s choice a flop or success? The answer
depends on the person who is asked. Does
he feel as a loser, a martyr or a winner? Lon-
estars are, as mentioned, often brilliant ca-
pacities within narrow fíelds of knowledge
that are handicapped by fear and sociopho-
bia, making many men to seek extreme se-
curity as strategy.
The Faroe Islands are small and consid-
ered family-based, making complete isola-
tion, which is a real possibility in Tokyo and
other large cities, almost impossible for any
individual. Lonestars in the Faroe Islands
usually stay at their parents home, a safe and
Peaceful place, where they have access to all
modern facilities. In this respect it looks like
a pleasant and carefree life without stress-
tng and back-breaking competition. Lones-
tars, also Japanese, staying at their parents
home, have at least contact to a few people
living in or frequenting the home. Real
tragedy could emerge if the lonestar was
thrown out of the house, his secure struc-
tured universe thereby disappearing. Stay-
'ng alone in a room with television, radio
and a computer with internet acces is not a
problem per se for lonestars, but lack of
recognition and contact to girls is a big and,
for most men, painful sacrifice.
Óli is around 24 years old and lives witli his
mother in a big house in Torshavn. He has two
brothers, one living in Denmark and the other
in a basement ilat in the mother’s house. Óli’s
father died approximately 12 years ago. Óli has
always lived in this house and was for many
years almost never outside the house. His whole
world was inside the four walls ofthe house. His
mother took care of the shopping, cooking,
washing, and all other practicalities, while Óli
slept, read books, watched television, listened
to music, played games on the internet, and
talkcd to the relatives and friends visiting Óli
and, mostly, his mother. ÓIi’s life has changed
very much the last two years. With the help of
his concerned brother he started to go out and
today he has a full-time job in a shop. Óli was
very isolated and quite depressed for many
years, a situation related to the tragic death of
his father while Óli was still a child, and didn’t
care much about any social activities or
experiences. He was afraid and searched peace
and safety. Night or day made no difference,
weekend was an absurd concept, and the
television was always turned on. Hc had no
energy to engage in any project and looked quite
untidy and absent-minded. His room was a big
mess and always very dark - hidden behind tick
caipets. His mother treated him like a baby and
didn’t make any effort to induce or force Óli to
get out of the house. She wanted to protect him,
take care of her ‘poor’ boy, and didn’t want any
psychologist or any other stranger to talk to Óli.
But eveiything changed when he started to
attend evening school courses with his brother.
He got a new life, even if his social network is
very limited and he doesn’t spend evenings in
cafes or bars. He rclaxes in the sofa at home after
iong working days witli new experiences every
day...
In small-scale societies, like the Faroese, it