Leyfi til að elska - mar. 2023, Blaðsíða 33

Poustie et al. 9
Comments indicated that the defamation tactic evoked aloofness, fearfulness,
or hatefulness in the child toward the targeted parent.
The targeted child in this survey now refuses to hug or kiss me, never says I
love you and if I tell her that I love her she just grunts.
Many comments captured instances of the alienating parent implicitly or explic-
itly communicating to the child that the targeted parent does not love them.
Anytime my daughter wants something of value (car etc.), my daughter is told
that if I loved her, I would buy it for her. So if I can’t afford something, my
daughter’s rationale is that I didn’t get it for her because I don’t love her.
Some comments mentioned the alienating parent’s use of extended family or
friends in their denigration campaign.
His family all supported his behaviour and shut me and my oldest daughter out
while badmouthing us and lying to everyone who would listen.
Erasing the Targeted Parent From Child’s Life. Targeted parents frequently
alluded to a sense of being eradicated from their child’s life, ranging from
blocked communication to feeling “erased.”
My twins have been taught to block my calls, texts and remove me from social
media . . . zero contact.
Targeted parents indicated that the alienating parent acted in ways to sym-
bolically remove them from their child’s life.
He remarried a friend of mine 4 months after we divorced and both of them
have tried everything to have the step mom replace me as the mother of my
children. Including calling her “Mum” soon after she moved in and referring to
me by my first name.
Many comments illustrated relational rupture as the targeted parent perceived
being systematically and entirely removed from their child’s life.
The narratives demonstrated the extremity of alienating behaviors: unending
defamation, prohibiting contact, and blockading information among other ruth-
less strategies to “erase” the targeted parent. The data indicated that these tactics
often led to physical distance, another key factor in the alienation process.
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GLEYMDA FORELDRIÐ: FORELDRAÚTILOKUN FRÁ SJÓNARHÓLI ÚTSETTA FORELDRISINS CLARE POUSTIE O.FL.