Reykjavík Grapevine - 07.01.2006, Blaðsíða 13
Quentin Tarantino, appearing on
television show Silfur Egils earlier
this month, was asked what he in-
tended to tell America about Iceland
once he returned home. “Loose
women and heavy drinking?” host
Egill Helgason offered, as if it were
a foregone conclusion that that’s
exactly what Tarantino would talk
about. Tarantino dismissed the idea
of talking about Iceland’s women,
and then held forth at length about
the spirit Opal.
Upon arriving home, Tarantino
appeared on the talk show Late
Night with Conan O’Brien and
shared some of his impressions of
Iceland, and its people. Especially
the ladies:
Conan: How are you, man?
Quentin: I’m good.
Conan: You know, for a lot of us
there’s this pressure to do some-
thing cool or outlandish on New
Year’s Eve, but I think, you know,
you’re Quentin Tarantino. There
might be this heightened expecta-
tion that you did something crazy.
Like you went somewhere with a
loaded gun.
Quentin: Yeah, I actually did. I just
got back yesterday from Iceland. I
went to Iceland to celebrate New
Year’s. I was there about two months
ago and it was so crazy, the parties
there were so insane, it was like,
“Oh, you gotta come back on New
Year’s, it is so much better,” so I
went back-
Conan: You actually decided, “OK,
I’m spending my New Year’s in
Iceland, just because everyone said
it’s so nutty.”
Quentin: Exactly. And man, oh
man, oh man, I almost can’t imagine
New Year’s anywhere else after that.
Because like one: Icelanders, they
go and they drink like crazy any
old way, but on New Year’s, they
lose their minds, in particularly the
women lose their minds and like
drink like crazy and I remember
we were in this club with all these
drunken girls, and this one girl was
like you know, [Morticia Addams
accent] “Oh man, I’m so embarrassed
about Icelandic women, they always
go out, and they always drink way
too much, and make complete fools
out of themselves.” Well right at
the moment after she said that, a
drunken girl walks by and does a face
plant – BAM! – right in front of us.
Conan: So women are falling, and
the women –
Quentin: No, but see here’s the
thing, though. That’s the female
perspective, alright? The non-Icelan-
dic male perspective is, I’m in a room
full of supermodels who are drunk
out of their mind standing up on a
table [stands up and begins to pump
fist], “Let’s get the party started!
Let’s get the party started!” (Laugh-
ter, applause) You know, where have
I been all my life? This is the place
to be!
Conan: But the women there, I’m
told that the women there –
Quentin: Supermodels working in
McDonalds! That’s what you got
going on there, and they’re drunk,
and not only that, you know, in
America –
Conan: I’m surprised they don’t
get you to do their tourist board
commercial. “There’s supermodels
everywhere and they’re at McDon-
alds and they’re all drunk!” [Boris
Badinov accent] “Come to Iceland.”
Quentin: Come to Iceland! Brought
to you by the Icelandic Tourist
Board. But you know it’s funny be-
cause normally in America, the idea
is to get the girls drunk enough to
go home with you? In Iceland, you
get the girls home before they get
so drunk that they’re passing out in
your bathroom, or vomiting all over
you. That’s the trick.
Conan: Right. Well, this is great
for the whole family. (Laughter) But
what are they drinking there? You
say they’re getting really drunk, are
they drinking wine, are they drink-
ing beer?
Quentin: No. Actually, they have
the foulest stuff ever made, it’s this
liqueur called Opal. Alright, and the
way Jägermeister is green, it’s red.
And then the “F you up” variety, it’s
about above Jägermeister. Now, I
don’t really know what poison tastes
like because if I did I’d be dead.
But if I had to imagine what poison
tastes like, it would be this stuff
Opal.
Conan: So Opal doesn’t taste good
but all that recommends it is it gets
you there fast.
Quentin: But here’s the weird thing.
It’s based on these candies that the
Icelanders have eaten since they
were little kids, so they’re used to the
taste, so they love it. Well, I was in
this club and Björk was there, and
she grabs me-
Conan: I like any story that’s like,
“I’m in a club, Björk’s there . . .”
(Laughter)
Quentin: It is Iceland, by the way-
Conan: She’s the biggest thing in
Iceland, is that right?
Quentin: She’s the biggest thing in
Iceland. She’s like the Jackie Chan
of Iceland.
Conan: I’ve heard she’s an action
star over there.
Quentin: She grabs me up to a bar
and she sets up like three shots.
(Imitates taking shots.) Boom, boom,
boom! My gag reflex was doing a
decathlon at that point. This stuff
is so foul, that I said what I never
thought I would say in my life, when
it came down to the fourth shot I go,
“Can I switch to Jägermeister just
for the taste?” Whoever thought that
Jägermeister would be refreshing by
comparison?
Conan: (Lame, extended joke about
Jägermeister’s status as a sponsor.) So
are you going to go back?
Quentin: Oh yeah, I, I, I, I think
maybe I have to now.
Conan: Are you treated well there?
They must love your work there.
Quentin: No, no, they’re really
great, they’re terrific there. Yeah,
uh, they’re big fans of my stuff, so,
also, what’s also wild is, you go there,
you know, I go there, you know, and
there’s officials from the government
that want to have like a little dinner,
a state thing or something, so you go
and you have this really embassy kind
of dinner, the minister of culture’s
there, and you meet the president
and everything, but then, it’s Iceland,
so after the dinner’s over you all go
to a club and you’re all doing shots
with these same people!
Conan: And the prime minister’s on
a table (Begins dancing.) “Let’s get
the party started!”
Quentin: (Also begins dancing.) The
roof! The roof! The roof is on fi-ya!
(Thunderous applause.)
When the Grapevine contacted
Helgason to get his thoughts on
Tarantino’s performance on Conan
O’Brien, he told us, “I don’t really
think that Tarantino has done any-
thing of real value since Pulp Fiction,
and now he covers his inadequacies
by playing the clown.”
“Quentin Tarantino, You Should Work for
the Icelandic Tourist Board!”
by Paul F. Nikolov
When Quentin Tarantino,
America’s great auteur, put on a
press conference to explain a short
film festival he was putting on in
Iceland, the Grapevine was gra-
teful for the opportunity to cover
the man who revitalized film and
pumped up pop culture in the
1990s. When Quentin Tarantino,
America’s great auteur, broke into
an impression of black people in
a movie theatre, to the amu-
sement of a crowded all-white
press conference, we discovered
that the man who saved pop
culture may just be a superficial,
subliterate geek with a lust for the
cliché. Here is the speech that de-
monstrated our hero was actually
a sub-par 1980s stand-up comic.
From the question, put forward
by a journalist from XFM:
– Why do you think these mar-
tial arts movies [being screened
at the festival] have so much in-
fluence on popular culture? They
influenced your filmmaking, they
influenced the Wu Tang Clan,
they influenced a whole genre of
rap music, why do you think that
is?
After two minutes of initial
response, explaining how kung fu
made it into the predominantly
black theatres, he begins:
– When you play your films to
a black audience in America, your
film is either going to deliver, or
it’s not. And you’re going to find
out real fucking quick...If they’re
rejecting it, you’re going to hear
it.
(Arms out in pseudo rap dis.)
Ah man, this shit is bullshit,
let’s get the fuck out of here. Yeah
yeah yeah, motha’ fucka’, shut
up. (Spoken in exaggerated black
dialect.)
And there’s people complaining
and talking in the theatre. When
they’re into it, then they’re into
it the same way. Then they’re
talking at the screen, but they’re
all talking in the direction of the
movie.
That motha’ fucka’ gonna get
killed.
That bitch, she gonna die.
Bitch, keep talking. That motha’
fucka’s goin’ ta kill you ass. You
goin’ ta see.
Ah told you, told you my boy,
that boy went up and killed her.
(Laughter.)
As a filmmaker it’s great it’s
like:
Hey, he killed your boy, don’t
forget that, man.
(Laughter.)
Of course, I shouldn’t have been
surprised that the man who made
his reputation as a writer with
a “Dead Nigger Storage” joke
would actually be a man whose
humour, and perhaps his art,
revolves entirely around taking
pleasure in not being the person
he’s talking about or portraying.
But then, the Icelandic nation
should not have been surprised
when their honoured visitor tur-
ned to easy stereotypes to describe
them to the rest of the world.
Tarantino Imitates Black People
in a Movie Theatre
Actual events at an Icelandic press conference
By Bart Cameron
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