Reykjavík Grapevine - 07.01.2006, Qupperneq 44
Orlando, Florida, home to the world’s largest McDonald’s, the
world’s first Olive Garden, the world’s largest amusement park,
Disney World, and various water parks of the highest calibre,
presented the Reykjavík Grapevine with a profoundly difficult
obstacle. We believe in recognising the value of diversity in our
travel pieces: we typically try to show some different angle on
lifestyles, on the things that make up the human experience,
in the hope that we can express our admiration for people who
aren’t like us.
But, then, we also promote local tourism, unique experi-
ences, and diversity… so what does one promote in Orlando,
where a Midwesterner reshaped swampland into his Illinois
ideal so that people from throughout the world might visit and
contribute money to a global entity? What of Universal Studios?
A large McDonald’s? Surely there are qualities that suggest the
power of the imagination?
Mercifully, the Grapevine’s marketing director managed
this for us. The staff was under the assumption that Icelandair
had courteously donated tickets and a stipend to allow us to
travel through Orlando to conduct the four-part series on the
Mississippi Delta, the heart of a music culture that has impacted
the world, an area recovering from two hurricanes and severely
impacted by American involvement in the Iraq War. Our
marketing director left us to believe this until 45 minutes before
boarding the plane to return to Iceland, when he informed the
staff that our deal was only to cover Orlando.
How do you cover Orlando when all you’ve seen is two
7-11 convenience stores and the Orlando International Airport?
(Other than to recommend the donut and Coke Slurpee combo
for $2.29.) You apply the knowledge you have gleaned simply
by consuming popular culture.
Going on my Midwestern childhood and on my own
consumption of TV and magazine culture, I can recommend the
following sites to people who want to visit the cultural hotbed
that brought the world *NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, Marilyn
Manson and Matchbox Twenty. As I have not actually attended
most of the attractions below, I can site no vices for them.
Disney World. When Dubai Land, in Dubai UAE opens in
2007, Disney World will no longer be the largest entertainment
complex in the world. Until that time, this is the best place to
go to see… 47 square miles of entertainment. And, to be fair, it
is also the creation of a man of remarkable imagination. True, it
was a man who treated his employees badly, including turn-
ing one animator over to the House Un-American Activities
Council, but the man also gave the world Bambi—or at least
his underpaid, striking employees did. Visit now, and you can
enjoy the “Happiest Celebration on Earth,” which began May
5, 2005.
Universal Orlando Resort. Arrive hungry, because this location
boasts a NASCAR Café, a Hard Rock Café AND a Jimmy
Buffet’s Margaritaville. Beyond sell-out dining culture, there’s
plenty of stomach-churning good times. With Jaws, ET and
Shrek rides, Universal competes for the short attention span
traveller. And, with an island dedicated to Marvel Superheros,
including an Incredible Hulk Coaster, one of the best-rated
roller coasters in the world, as you would expect.
World of Orchids. A greenhouse containing more than 1,000
orchids, this enormous conservatory is free, and presents itself as
an intellectually stimulating alternative to Disney World. It also
has an appealing website: www.aworldoforchids.com.
Jack Kerouac’s last house, 5169 10th Avenue, St. Petersburg,
Florida. Actually, just a ranch house he spent the last year of his life
before dying from complications of alcoholism at the age of 47.
Gatorland. The oldest attraction in Orlando, Gatorland is a
bit more economically priced than the other attractions, and it
also uses flesh-eating living dinosaurs as the source of entertain-
ment—it’s a win-win situation.
World’s Largest McDonald’s. (On corner of Sand Lake Road
and International Drive) Is McDonald’s an attraction? When
built as a giant French fry box it is. The building is so large, it
could, conceivably, contain a cardiac care unit to manage the
damage done by its own products.
Icelandair flies direct to Orlando from Keflavík. They provided the
Grapevine with three round-trip flights to Orlando, and a stipend,
to help us with the article above, and with our five-part Mississippi
series. For more information, log on to www.icelandair.is.
THE BEST WAY TO GET
TO ORLANDO:
ICELANDAIR FLIES DIRECT FLIGHTS FROM KEFLAVÍK TO ORLANDO.
for more information, log on to www.icelandair.is
ICELANDAIR PROVIDED TICKETS AND A STI-PEND FOR THIS TRAVEL PIECE.
Single Worst Travel Article Ever Published:
The Grapevine Goes to Orlando
by Bart Cameron
44
on tour
ORLANDO